36. Chapter 36

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Chapter 36,

Erin spent the entire drive trying to avoid the nervous feeling that was slowly creeping in, but as she grew closer to the address, the anxiety settled and her stomach felt tied in knots. She wished Grace was awake to distract her, her daughter being one of the best distractions, but she wasn't selfish enough to actually wake her up.

In the end though, Erin didn't need to be worried. The minute she stepped into the beautiful red brick house, Mrs. Corson enveloped her into a hug and made her feel right at home.

"Erin," she said, releasing her from the hug but still draping her fingers onto Erin's shoulders lightly, as if she was a grandmother saying let me get a good look at you, sweetheart. "I'm so glad to finally meet you." Her smile was wide and gracious, and her demeanor was completely relaxed. Erin felt her shoulders sag slightly in relief, and the knots in her stomach seemed to loosen a little.

Mrs. Corson didn't even let Erin reply before she turned to Grace, "And you must be Grace." She bent down, opening her arms even wider this time. "I'm Gail, but you can just call me Nana."

They were still standing in the large open foyer, and there was something in the way Mrs. Corson carried herself, in the way she spoke so genuinely, that seemed to completely put Grace and Erin at ease. Erin was so stunned and distracted by her presence that she didn't even notice Jay and Maddie walking towards them.

"Mommy!" Maddie cried, "You met Nana!"

Erin froze, her previous nerves returning full force. She looked down at the dark wooden floors, avoiding both Jay and Gail's gaze. "I sure did," she looked up slightly, finding Maddie's eyes only, trying and failing to keep her voice steady and calm.

Okay, Jay thought as he watched Erin shifting uncomfortable near the front door. I probably should have warned her.

He hadn't even thought about it during their brief phone call earlier. After the sudden invitation and the 'mommy' name drop at the picnic table, Danny and Gail just laughed at his stunned reaction. Then they insisted that he stop acting so weird around them. Then they told him they were happy he was happy, thrilled even.

And then they added that Allie would be, too.

At their words, for some reason, all the guilt he had been feeling was washed away and he was left feeling light and happy. The rest of the afternoon, all he could think about was finally introducing Grace and Erin to Danny and Gail. After his mom's passing and breaking off contact completely with his father, they had become like second parents to him. Almost like his version of Hank and Camille.

He walked towards Erin, and slipped his hand into hers, interlocking their fingers, and squeezing them gently between his. Then while Gail was momentarily distracted, leading Grace and Maddie into the kitchen to be her big helpers, he leaned into whisper in her ear. "I love you." Then he slipped his free hand under her chin and moved her face so she was looking at him. "And they are going to love you, too. Okay?"

While his words calmed her slightly, he hadn't even come close to addressing her biggest concern. "Um..." Did he noticed that Maddie just called me mommy? "Maddie just called me-"

His trademark grin spreading slowly across his face, "Baby, she's been calling you that all day."

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"Everything looks delicious, Mrs. Corson," Erin was seated next to Maddie at the large outdoor table. Jay was sitting directly across her, with Grace at his side, and the Corson's were sitting at the heads of each end. The table sat towards the side of the expansive deck, right beside an extra large grill and serving area. Then there was a couch and seating area on the other side of the deck, with potted plants and flowers strewn throughout.

It was nearly the size of the first apartment she remembered living in with her mother, she realized, and that made her even more nervous.

"Oh, honey, call me Gail." How different the word honey sounded coming from her lips. This time, it made Erin smile, and she relaxed a little into her large outdoor chair.

"I helped too," Grace said, her face brightening. "Right, Nana?" She added, like she was trying to word out on her tongue.

"That's right," Gail replied. "You certainly did."

"What did you girls do today?" Danny asked, turning to Erin and Grace. Maddie had spent the entire afternoon talking his ear off about both of them, and he wanted to learn more about them. From what he could tell, they truly seemed as great as Maddie had said.

"Mommy took me to the zoo!" Grace said cheerfully.

"WHAT?!" Maddie interrupted, her face fell as her limp trembled slightly. "You went to the zoo without me?"

"Mads," Jay said in his no nonsense tone. "You got to go miss school today to go out to lunch and go to the park."

"I like school," she pouted, her big blue eyes beginning to tear up. She brushed it away, trying to hold in her emotions.

Jay was about to respond, but Erin beat him to it.

"I know you do, baby." Erin said, "Grace and I just wanted to give you some time to see your Nana and Grandpa before we joined you." She smiled softly at her, brushing her hand through her blond curls, clearing them away from her pale face. "But we missed you the whole time."

"Really?" Maddie said, perking up slightly.

Grace nodded her head furiously, partly because it was true and partly because she seemed to know her sister needed it. "Are you kidding?" Erin said, "I miss you every minute I'm not with you." She gently touched Maddie's cheek, and then squeezed it playfully. "And today at the zoo was no different."

Maddie perked up even more, and she launched into the story of the last time Maddie had been to the zoo, that time with Grace. Then Grace interjected, telling the Corson's it had been her first time ever.

Jay watched his girls as they continued to tell the Corson's all about that time at the zoo, about their stuffed elephants, then they shifted topics and talked about school, and about Ms. Annie. All the while, he couldn't for the life of him figure out how he had gotten this damn lucky.

The smile hadn't left his lips since Erin had walked in the door, and it just seemed to be growing with every passing moment. This dinner was going better than he could have ever anticipated. He was so happy to have them all here together.

As he continued to listen, he slowly moved his foot across the table until his leg found Erin's, and he began rubbing his calves against hers. Her involuntarily shiver and the slow smirk she sent across the table had him smiling even more.

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The girls had excused themselves from the table, and ran inside to play. While many of the parts of the house had been boxed up, the playroom was still completely set up for anytime they came back to Chicago to visit, and Maddie wanted to show Grace all of her toys.

The adults were still sitting outside on the deck, drinking through their second bottle of red wine. The more wine Gail drank, the more the stories began to flow.

"One time during their, what was it, Danny, their junior year?" Gail said, her eyes finding her husband's across the table.

"Yep," he nodded in agreement, already knowing the story she was about to share.

"We went out for the night," Gail continued. "To see a movie."

"Oh, god." Jay said with a nervous laugh, evidently realizing right after Danny did, where this story was going.

"Oh hush," Gail scolded, and then she turned back to Erin. "Anyway, the movie was sold out. This was back in the days where you didn't buy your ticket online like you did today," she said, by way of explanation. "So we decided to go back home, rent one instead."

Erin was trying to listen to the story intently, but Jay's leg gently stroking her's under the table was driving her crazy. She had opted against wearing stockings with her skirt today, the weather being so nice, and the feel of his warm skin on hers was seriously distracting.

"When we got home," Gail continued, not noticing Erin's reddening face. Or maybe she just assumed it was the wine. "We hear noises coming from upstairs."

That got Erin's attention. This was a Jay and Allie story.

"Allie was supposed to be at a study group studying for her math test the next day," Danny picked up the story here, his voice genial and full of joy. "So I tell Gail to stay downstairs, and I quietly sneak upstairs, all worried." He sounded anything but worried now.

"I didn't want to stay downstairs alone," she said "So I follow him up. And we noticed the noise is coming from Allie's room." Gail began to laugh at she remembered the rest. She could still see it like it was yesterday. "And they must have finally heard us because when we open the door, Jay is half naked, climbing out of the window."

Erin couldn't contain her laughter, picturing Jay half in and half out of a second story window, holding his clothes against his chest. Sometimes she forgot that Jay and Allie dated in high school, since every story she had heard had been about their later years, when they were only the best of friends.

"Okay," Jay said, his voice full of embarrassment. "Is story time be over?"

"No way," Erin said, still laughing.

"Danny wanted to put bars up on her windows after that," Gail was still laughing, and she waved her hand at Jay, and then reached for Erin's hand to squeeze it, bringing her into the joke.

"Trust me," Danny interjected. "If it was anyone but Jay, I would have." He smiled warmly at Jay.

"The future doctor," Gail added. She seemed to be a little tipsy, and she didn't notice the way Jay froze at her words. "He could do no wrong in my husband's eyes."

"Future doctor?" Erin asked, her laughter dying down slightly.

"Yeah," Jay said, "I was quite the disappointment." He tried to keep his voice light, make like he was joking, too, but his voice betrayed his nerves.

When she heard the catch in his voice, Gail's voice immediately sobered as she grasped his hand. "We are even more proud of you now," she said.

Her voice was so genuine Jay wanted to cry. Instead, he nodded, unable to speak.

Choosing to enlist instead of going to college, choosing to be a detective instead of being a doctor, he had been the disappointment of his family. And his father never let him forget it. By the time his mother passed away, his father had barely spoken to him in months. And now? Well, now, it had been years.

God, they really were his Hank and Camille. Thank God for them.

"Jay," Danny said, immediately noticing his shift in mood. "Walking away from that money at 18 years old to do what's right," he shifted his head to the side and shook it to exaggerate his point. "Bravest thing I'd ever seen." And then to lighten the mood, he added, "And I was an old man even then."

"You're not old," Jay replied laughing slightly, and sending him a grateful smile.

Danny just nodded back, understanding his unspoken message.

Jay shifted his gaze towards Erin, hoping this conversation wasn't revealing too much. He had asked her, begged her even, to let him in, to tell him anything and everything about her past and her life. He had wanted to learn as much as he could about her. He had wanted to break apart the puzzle of her life, to uncover all the pieces that came together to form this amazing, beautiful woman he had fallen so deeply in love with.

But he just realized he had barely told her anything. He had told her about losing Allie, and maybe a little bit about losing his mother, but otherwise he had barely scratched the surface.

It wasn't exactly fair.

Erin sat across the table from him, her lips still formed in a smile, not minding at all. She had a million questions she now wanted to ask Jay, of course, but she knew he would just tell her when he was ready. In the months they had known each other, he had shared more with her than anyone ever had.

He had shared his children with her.

The stories would come later, they would trickle in as time went on, as they got to know each other better and better.

But she had all the time in the world to learn them, and she was happy to wait.

"What about you Erin," Gail said, shifting the topic and taking Jay out of the hot seat. She was beginning to feel bad for putting him there. "What made you want to become a social worker?"

Jay knew that Gail was just trying to shift the attention off of him, but he really wished she had chosen a different question. He reached across the table and gently squeezed Erin's hand, letting her know she did not have to answer that.

She shook her head, brushing his worry away. She was happy to share. "I was a foster child myself, actually," she said, her eyes shifting from Gail to Danny, and then back to Gail. She could see the clear surprise in both of them. "I guess I just wanted to help other kids find happy homes." Safe homes she also thought, but didn't add.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize," Gail said, her voice as sweet and smooth as honey.

"It's fine," Erin said, easily. Because it really was. Being fostered by Hank and Camille was the best thing that ever happened to her. Even to this day. Because even now, it is what had brought her to Jay.

"How old were you when it happened?" Danny asked, his voice full of sympathy.

"I'm sorry?" Erin asked, confused.

"How old were you when your parents died?" Danny clarified. He knew Grace had been taken in by Jay after her parents had been murdered. He had lost two children himself, and he couldn't imagine what it must be like for a four year old to be robbed of the only parents she ever knew.

"Oh, um," Erin shifted in her seat, suddenly unsure of how much to reveal. She peered over at Jay, trying to read his expression.

Gail and Danny were this genuinely nice, happy, perfect couple, living in this gorgeous brick house, in an expensive Chicago suburb, with a playroom and an office, and it also had a full backyard. And this was only one of their homes, because presumably they had an apartment or a house where they lived in Florida.

Jay probably grew up in a similar home. They were so sheltered from her world. She would never had fit in here, and she wasn't sure that she really wanted them to know that.

"I, uh-"

Jay squeezed her hand once again, but this time he interrupted, sensing she could use the help. "Erin's parents are both alive," he said, his voice matter-of-fact. "They just couldn't take care of her the way she deserved to be taken care of."

Erin smiled gratefully at him, wondering how he had a way of making her feel like this.

Safe. Happy. Loved.

And maybe for the first time, deserving.

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The sun dipped behind the clouds and the moon rose up high in it's place. Along with the appearance of the moon came the mosquitoes, and after another thirty minutes, they were all ready to return inside.

When they found the girls in the play room, they were both passed out, fast asleep on the floor, a dozen barbie dolls and race cars between them.

"She's really wonderful," Gail said, nodding her head towards Grace.

"She really is," Jay agreed. "She has become such a huge part of my life in such a short amount of time. It's truly amazing."

If she didn't know any better, she would have thought he was talking about Erin.

Gail knew he was talking about Grace, but if she hadn't known any better, she would have thought he was also talking about Erin.

He probably would have been, if Erin wasn't standing right beside him.

"We should probably get them home," Jay said.

"Are you sure you have to go so soon?" Gail said sadly.

"Yeah," Jay said, his voice slow and reluctant. "We probably should."

Erin could tell he wasn't ready to leave. Her man was never that hesitant, and he used the word probably twice.

"I was... uh... hoping to talk to you about something," Danny said, as they walked together towards the kitchen.

"I'll take the girls home," she whispered quietly in his ear. "Stay. Spend some time with them."

"Are you sure?" He asked, his voice slightly hopeful. He hadn't realized how much he truly missed spending time with the Corson's. "Both of them?"

"Are you trying to say I can't take care of your girls by myself, Halstead?" She said, teasingly.

He turned to her, his voice serious. "Our girls, Er." He leaned and kissed her softly, and then he added teasingly, "And I was saying no such thing."

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Jay returned home nearly three hours later to find Erin, fast asleep, on the couch. The view of her, asleep with all the lights on, with the TV still playing quietly playing in the background, warmed his heart.

Other than his mother, he had never had anyone wait up for him before.

She was in her pajamas, which was really his green ARMY t-shirt and a pair of blue plaid boxer shorts. The shirt was the one that used to be his favorite, the one that now he was pretty sure he was never going to get back.

He walked over to the couch and pressed his lips against her smooth forehead, inhaling her scent, and letting his eyes roam over her sleeping form.

God, he loved her in that t-shirt.

When he finally lifted his lips from her, he swept her up into his arms. Then, he carried her to their bed, nestling her under the covers. Then after getting himself ready for bed, he snuggled against her, burying his head in her hair.

All the while, the conversation he had just had with the Corson's was still playing in his head.

xoxo

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