Chapter 19

Eve's dads dead.

Basically he was riding home and he got assassinated. He was in his carriage, he got jumped by many different assailants and died. How do I know they were assassins? They left a note! It said down with the ducal family. I was wondering what type of nobility was in this world. So Eve's a duchess, that's pretty cool. Eve's mother was killed in childbirth and her father never remarried, so she's the duchess now. As for the father he didn't mean much to me except for the fact that he was the sperm donor for Eve.

I start to walk towards Eve, being I only got a letter about the incident and the assassins note, Eve has no idea what happened. Which means I need to be the bearer of bad news, what should I say. "Sorry kid, you dads dead." "Your dad was a great man and the world is saddened by his death." "I'm sorry but your father passed." That one will work! Not too strong, not too weak, but still conveys the purpose. After this I'll go ahead and adopt eve! Or at least be a fatherly figure, she's still young. We can go on killing sprees together and behead gladiators in the arena, or go pick flowers, or the best option is to turn enemies into fertilizer so we can grow lots of flowers!

"Eve…"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

"For? Spit it out!"

"Your father passed away."

"R-really?"

"Yes, I'm sorry."

"You should be sorry! How could you have not told me this sooner! This is great!"

"Eve?"

"He was not a good man."

"Really? How so?"

"He hit me lots and abused servants."

"Oh."

"He was horrible."

"You should have told me sooner!"

"Why?"

"Well he would have been gone the second you told me, who needs assassins when you have me!"

She just sat there staring at me like im idiotic. Also how is she so much cuter when she says things like "spit it out." She is so much cuter than when she was sweet. I'm so glad I had a positive effect on her. I guess it's true that children are like clay, she changed in only a few days. I thought she would have only warmed up to me this time. Also her dad was a d*ck, I had no idea! But I also had no contact with him except for his buying of me. Well, he's dead so win, win while I would have loved to kill him myself after hearing he hit Eve. One hit is death, "lots" is torture each his is a diffrent method. I would have had goats lick his feet to death if I could.

Eve has had assassins after her as well, I had only left the main culprit around for 2 reasons. It helps gain trust with Eve every time I save her life and I have very little idea who would try to kill a little girl. But now that I know she's a duchess and her family was referred to as "the ducal family" I can assume there is only one Roman Duke family. Also why the f*ck is it British nobility, another messed up thing. Or maybe ducal means something else here, probably not with everything I have seen so far. Her attempted assassinations could be because of her fathers mistakes, or it could be a family dispute. Both are likely but I don't know how succession works here. But if Eves is not the duchess then I guess a few more Dukes need to wash their necks.

The priest talked a bit about the power of the church so maybe they will help out. Oh! Eve needs magic! The dudes haven't died yet so it will be ok to give Eve magic. Probably. She will have me to help her with whatever she needs! Now that her dad can't f*ck with me I have full say in what happens to Eve. If some random dude comes in to adopt her, he will get an ultimatum. Going back or death. I always wanted a daughter! I think? F*ck getting woozy on magic is trippy. Whatever it will end well when has a god ever- god's child ever made a mistake. I bet they can't even die!

Well I can Cross that off of religions to make fun of list. I Nailed that joke, wood this ever end? That last one pun can go to hell. Anyways, magic! I wonder what kind Eve will have? Gravity like her dad? Or light like her effect on me, because she brightens my day. Sh*t did becoming a dad infuse my soul with jokes and puns? I hope not because if I start to like jokes more than murder it will be an issue.

"Eve?"

"I know! He's dead! Go make some good food! Let's celi-i-i."

"Celebrate! And I will in a bit. But do you want to learn magic?"

"I thought you said it would take a while before I could learn it."

"It's a gift for losing your father."

"The only good thing he's given me came from his death."

"I'll teach you tomorrow! Dinner time!"

"Then why did you say it now dumb*ss! Now I won't be able to sleep!"

"No cussing."

"Tch."

She is just the most precious thing! So sweet and kind. I don't deserve her! Neither does anyone else though, the Romans believed that love can only happen between people of the same gender for a time right? I guess I should start praying to go- my dad. Because if I have to hand her over I'm keeping the other guys hand. But if I can get a girl to marry her. It will go great! Maybe magic can give me a grandson! Sh*t. Think I'm the present, you're not even… how old am I? 25 ish? That's for the best. I'm 25 now and Eves… young. Her guard is… stupid.