Chapter 20 I Have a Problem...

*crash*

My eyes shot open at the loud noise I heard from my left.

I could only see Luna's face an inch from my own, with a similar expression of shock on her face.

She frantically turned in the direction of the sound which I now realized was the sound of my window shattering as someone had jumped in.

As she twisted to face the noise, her hand got stuck on a piece of my clothes.

*clink*

A soft sound came from the floor below me and her face darkened. I saw the fear in her eyes for a moment before she had fully turned toward the intruder. I looked down to see what had made the noise and saw a familiar small gold ring with writing on it.

It must have come off when she got her hand stuck.

"D-d-d-d-de-de…" The man who entered my room uninvited stuttered.

I was still in a daze. With a lot of things going through my head, but one thought prevailed... annoyance! This fucking prick couldn't have waited an hour?!! I was about to get laid!!! ... hopefully.

Maybe it's just my destiny to die a virgin…

I quickly picked up the ring and put it in my pocket.

By the time I had these thoughts the room had already gone pitch black, and Luna's figure had melted into the surroundings.

Shit, I hope it's not too late.

"Don't kill him yet! Please." I asked my maid.

"Gahhh!! It hurts! H-horns! De-dem-!"

I heard screams of pain and terror come from an unidentifiable direction, It sounded like it came from everywhere yet nowhere. It was trippy. I was surrounded by a darkness that no light shone through, I couldn't tell up from down or left from right, it felt like I was within nothingness. I couldn't smell, feel, taste, or see a thing and I suspect I could only hear his screams because Luna allowed it.

Well, at least It seems like he is still alive, which means that Luna heard my request.

"S-stay back! Don't touch me! D–de-dem-!"

"Demon?" I asked. It seems he has a problem articulating certain words.

"Yes! Demon! Run away!" He screamed, from the void.

"Didn't you come here to kill me though?" It was really weird to talk to someone when I couldn't see and didn't know where his voice was coming from.

"U-umm. No! I was trying to save you from a demon! She's a monster! She was trying to kill you!"

Wow. What an impeccable excuse.

"Hey Luna. Could you turn the lights back on? I wanna talk to this guy face to face." I requested.

I could hear her rifling through my room. "Y-yeah. Just one second!"

She continued searching around for a while. At least I assume she did, I really had no clue what was going on in this darkness.

After about a minute had passed, nothing had changed. He was still insistently screaming at me about being hunted by a demon. Apparently he was here to save me. Luna was also still rummaging through my room and I assume overturning everything in search for her ring. Usually I would feel weird about someone looking through all my stuff, but I had all my personal shit in my dimensional storage that was engraved on my arm that only I could access. It was actually a really amazing spell that was unique, I'd never seen anything like it before, well, even I don't know anything about it or where I got it, but that's a story for another time.

"Can you PLEASE turn the lights back on?" I insisted.

"U-umm b-but It's still dangerous!" Luna kept stalling for time.

"H-help me!!! I'm gonna die!!! We're both gonna be killed!!" The man shouted.

"Does that sound dangerous to you?" I asked her, with a tinge of annoyance in my voice.

"W-well… no." She sounded extremely reluctant, but she still reeled in her powers.

Ahh my eyes! Bright light attacked my pupils. It's still the middle of the night but the moonlight is so bright after been in pitch darkness!

Fuck!

After waiting for a moment to adjust my eyes, I could see two figures in front of me.

On was sitting on the ground with his right leg cut off just above the knee and pinned to the ground by purple chains in the form of a flame.

The other was standing over him, her figure enhanced by the enchanting moonlight. Two bright white daggers reflected the moonlight and created an image of a second moon.

Her long dark hair swayed in the wind that entered through the broken window. Purple eyes glowed in the darkness like precious amethyst gemstones. Cute facial features accompanied by supple red lips complimented her appearance perfectly. Her body looked like it was sculpted by Michelangelo into a perfect form. Two sleek black horns protruded from her silky hair.

"... …" I was rendered speechless by her body's enchanting aura.

Her appearance from before was perfectly accentuated by her horns.

"Aha, fuck. I'm fired, aren't I?" She said in a self deprecating tone.

Her fang's that I had never seen before protruded as she spoke, giving her an extremely sexy allure.

"..." I still couldn't bring myself to speak. I had never been speechless like this before.

"I knew it… I should just leave now. A demon like me could only be hated by humans, even you." She hesitantly said, as if asking for confirmation on her bias.

Oh no. That sounds bad, I really, really need to clear up this misunderstanding. Don't leave, I was just stunned by how gorgeous you are! Alright, let's just say that, it's the perfect thing to say!

Alright, here I go!

"Handlebars…" I barely squeaked out. Remembering our talk from a few days ago.

FUUCKK! You fucking degenerate!!! Why?! Why would I say that?????

Alright, you can save this, just don't be a moron. Prove the people wrong Artemis! You're not an idiot! Do it right now! Just tell her what you thought!

"... sexy fangs..."

NOOO! You absolute tool! How are you fumbling this fucking hard?! You had the bag, you were walking out of the store with it, then you just fucking dropped it, no you threw it at the wall and ran away! What are you doing?

Alright, third times the charm, you can still fix this!

"... dommy mommy."

… I'm gonna go jump off a cliff. Be right back.

WhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhy?

Why would I say that?!

"Pfft~ ahahahahahaha! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Luna laughed.

She laughed! That's better than before! It wasn't a waste!

"So much is wrong with me. Why did I say that?" I thought.

Calm down! All I need to do is make a swift exit, pretend this never happened.

"Because your an idiot." She said after catching her breath.

"...Eh?"

"It's because you're an idiot." She repeated.

"Ah, so I said that out loud… fuck."

You dumbass! There goes the plan! I fucked it again!

"Hahahaha! You dumbass! Hahahaha ahaha ha! … Oh fuck, that was funny. You scared me for a second. I thought you were gonna kick me out. But you're just a fucking dumbass. Seriously, who the fuck see a demon and says 'handlebars'? How is that your first thought? Ahahaha!"

Ah, a really tall cliff with spikes at its base does sound like a great time right now. I would just love one.

Well, at least it can't get any worse than this.

"Well, actually my first thought was, please sit on my face, followed by, crush my head with your thighs. But who's keeping track?" I allowed my thoughts to wonder.

She went quiet and bit her lip, holding back a laugh.

"Hahaha… wait, did I say that out loud again?"

I received a nod from both her and the guy on the floor. Ah... I see, it got worse.

"Well, living was fun while it lasted, I'll see you in the afterlife." I said with a blank expression.

"AHAHAHAHA! You perverted moron! Holy shit! I can't take it anymore! AHAHAHAHAHA!"

Luna fell to the floor laughing.

Well, as a wise man once said. If you can make her laugh and giggle, you can make her cheeks clap and jiggle. So maybe I'm off to a good start...

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! FUCKING MORON! AHAHAHAHAHA!"

But, isn't she laughing a little too hard?