Chapter 1: I Am an Interstellar Coroner

My name is Ethan Walker, a human.

In this era, thanks to genetic modification technology, people don't die, and they don't give birth either.

Of course, except for abnormal deaths and abnormal births.

That's why our profession exists: coroners.

Interstellar coroners, also known as investigators of abnormal deaths, are part of the Shambak Galaxy Bureau of Extraordinary Affairs. It's a kind of special agent work, but it's more unpleasant and annoying.

As for the salary, there's no guaranteed pay, only performance-based. You get paid based on how many cases you take.

This galaxy has over 500 planets. Even if one person dies on each planet every day, I'll be busy for two or three years. The work is never lacking.

Anyway, being a coroner is a dirty, tiring, and annoying job. The only reason I could settle in the Bureau of Extraordinary Affairs is that I'm poor.

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I once read in the agency's database about Earthlings' speculations about the future in 2024, and it was quite amusing. They actually believed that the highest form of human evolution would be having a big head, long tentacles, and being slimy like an octopus.

Yes, now there is such a species on Planet Tuna.

Tuna Star is full of these creatures. They are adaptable, strong, and agile, making them excellent candidates for special agent work.

But they have a fatal weakness—dust adhesion!

It's alright on Tuna Star, a planet completely covered in water. But they stick to everything wherever they go. What's the use if they can't go to other planets? Who can live relying on just one planet anymore? Living every day without any personal hygiene, eating poorly, with poor living conditions, and unable to die even if they want to—it's really uncomfortable.

In fact, among the species that have evolved on so many planets until now, humans have achieved the most balanced development.

They are convenient to operate machinery, move around easily, and other than being a bit fragile, there aren't any major issues. (Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention, don't worry, after all these years, humans are still the same as before. These few hundred years haven't changed much.)

After several major declines and expansions of the population in the entire galaxy over thousands of years, genetic modification was finally done. They can't be born, and they can't die. It reached a stable state, and humans ended up being the species with the easiest job prospects.

So when I went for the interview at the Bureau of Extraordinary Affairs, I didn't encounter any barriers.

The interviewer asked only one question: Are you afraid of corpses?

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Indeed, it was a valid question. Ordinary people may never see a dead body in their lives.

If it were ancient times, anyone could see it through "news" and "videos," but "media dissemination" was classified as "the root cause of the collapse of civilization in the 23rd century" and considered a serious crime three hundred years ago. It would lead to life imprisonment!

Fear stems from the unknown. Before seeing it, no one knows what a dead body looks like.

But what if they do see it? Will they be afraid?

To be honest, I was afraid at first, but I was more afraid of newborns.

Death can't come from illness, but it can come from external factors, from oneself.

But newborns can't do that. If they appear, it will definitely be a big event.

Some people are afraid when they see a dead body, and some even vomit. It's because what they see is too similar to themselves, and it's easy to associate it with their own bodies, realizing that they could be injured and die like that.

After seeing so many different bodies on various planets, maybe you'll become like me and not be afraid—I see the differences between them and humans are too significant. At most, I see them as different types of meat and bones.

Just like when you see pork belly in a market, you think of braised pork, not a pig's dead body.

Apart from that, the mechanical armor and prosthetic limbs on each body make them look more like machines. Some bodies have been completely modified, with not even a piece of skin visible, so there's nothing scary about them.

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However, during my first autopsy task, I did vomit.

Not because I was afraid, it was just too disgusting...

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Beep beep beep—beep beep beep—

In the middle of the night, I was awakened by a series of sharp and abrupt ringing sounds. I fumbled under the covers and knocked over the alarm clock, but the ringing continued unabated.

"Meatball... what time is it?"

"The current time is 00:35:21."

Meatball is my smart assistant, capable of doing many chores for me. It's pretty good, except for one thing—the voice is too unpleasant. When I earn some money, I'll upgrade it to a realistic version with a beautiful voice.

"It's the middle of the night, and it's so annoying..."

I was too tired, so I buried my head under the pillow for a while, and finally, it became quiet.

"..."

"Wait a minute! Could this sound be..."

I bounced up from the bed in one leap and rushed to the living room in three strides.

Sure enough, the wrist communicator that was just issued by the investigative agency today was lying on the table, emitting a flickering yellow light.

I had a mission!

"Mission code [UZ0359], target location: Tuna Star, Shed 3352 in District 6 of the Gatliss Trench, mission performance reward: 600 PN, status reminder: none, please Investigator BG2245 complete the survey vessel registration as soon as possible and enter the target site for investigation within 48 hours."

"600 Pusan! Meatball!! Your voice has been saved!"

There is still plenty of time within 48 hours to enter the site.

With no sleepiness left, I hummed a song as I cleaned up and waited for the sun to rise.

On my first day at work, I was assigned my first mission, which was really exciting. I want those guys who wait outside the mission office every day begging for work to know that I am the rising star in the agency!

I carefully put on my uniform and sat on the couch, staring fixedly at the wall clock. "Why isn't it daylight yet? And time is passing so slowly!"

Experienced investigators have their dedicated survey vessels that can be parked at home, so they can depart for the investigation site at any time, regardless of the time they receive the mission.

As for me, I need to go to the mission office first with the mission code to get the paperwork, and then go to the logistics department to rent a survey vessel (the rent is variable, charged at 3% of the mission performance reward, it's really expensive!). Even so, if I go late, I might not be able to grab a vessel to rent!

There's nothing I can do now, I can only patiently wait until 8 a.m. to go to the mission office. I can't walk to another planet on my own.

As I stared, the ticking of the clock brought drowsiness back to find me.

"2:13... I'll sleep a little longer... Meatball, wake me up at 6 a.m..."

"Okay, I'll set the alarm for you..." Meatball's dry and stiff voice rang out.

After a night of excitement, I finally opened my eyes. Ah! The sunlight is so nice.

"I woke up on my own without the alarm. That's my self-discipline! Wahahaha—! Ah?!" I almost crushed the alarm clock in my hand. The long hand "clicked" and moved, pointing at 9 o'clock in the morning.

"Meatball!!! Why didn't you set the alarm for me!!!"

"I'm sorry, sir. Your intelligent butler was suspended due to unpaid fees at 2:13:27 this morning. During the period of non-payment, I cannot provide you with any services. Please complete the payment within 48 hours. If overdue, a daily late payment fee of 1% will be charged. The total amount of your current outstanding payment is six—hundred—Pusan. Have a pleasant day!"

"It's over, it's over, it's over, it's over! This is my first mission!"

If a race car could drive in the hallway, I would have complete confidence in beating it. Swift turns, drifting—I only felt my soul return to my body after I crashed into the elevator.

Phew—thank goodness, the elevator happened to be on my floor.

"Beep beep— I'm sorry, sir, your elevator usage privileges have been canceled due to long-term unpaid fees. Until you clear your debts, the elevator in this building will not be able to serve you. The total amount of your outstanding payment is..."

Ah—!

I sprinted up the stairs to the 37th floor, with the elevator's voice announcing the curse echoing in my mind, "The amount is: 600 Pusan! 600 Pusan! 600 Pusan!!"

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Human technology has surpassed the limits of lifespan, yet it has always been unable to surpass the need for wealth.

In this era, people neither die nor are born.

In the year 2751, I completed age locking, only to find myself still trapped in a life of poverty. I took on the role of a coroner.

My first autopsy assignment awaits me on Planet Tuna!