18+ Quick Transmigration BL/LGBT, M-Preg MC/Phoenix/Bottom/Shou/Switch, ML/Top/Gong/Switch-only for MC Both MC & ML are complex characters, and each arc will highlight the different sides to their personalities so some arcs MC maybe a power bottom and in some ML takes charge. But mostly MC is bottom, and ML is top. Join us as we follow a young anti-hero named Phoenix, as he tries to free himself from the clutches of whom ever kidnapped him and imprisoned him, gain power & knowledge in order to take them down & regain his memory that's been locked away from him. It seems that someone else was after Phoenix too but for what and why would they help him escape? Solaris the sentient A.I. system that hacked into The Jailer System that had been forcibly bound to Phoenix's soul and helped to spring Nix from his prison but for what reason and at what cost? No good deed goes unpunished and nothing absolutely nothing in the multiverse is ever completely free. But what choice does Nix have? Surely following Solaris' missions cannot be worse than what he left behind right? Is this just another way for his captors to abuse him more? Can he ever be truly free when he just spent the last 32 thousand years being forced to live one horrific abusive life after the other. Can he even dream of healing when he cannot forget even a single moment, he spent in that hell hole? This story begins at the end of his imprisonment from "hell" and follows his journey to discovering himself, regaining his lost memory and discover who and what was and is behind all this. But can he handle the truth? What happens if he were to learn that he was being punished for crimes against the celestial Dragon Emperor and heaven itself? Could he truly be capable of such a thing and if so, what will he do then? One could definitely say that Nix is an anti-hero, since he is not benevolent but would not stand for injustice happen to the innocent or those, he deems worthy enough to care for and about. Nix is cold, apathetic & keeps everyone & everything at arm's length. Despite his cold, arrogant, apathetic & aloof exterior, Nix surprisingly has a big soft heart for animals & children, as well as all things cute & adorable but he would never admit it. ML: Hey what about me? Nix: What about you? Who are you again anyways? ML: ...? Solaris & Author: eating popcorn & booked peanuts (I know they aren't for everyone, don't come for me) ML: Nix how can you say that? Mrs_TNT do something he's being hateful again for no reason! Why must he always push me away? What did I ever do to him? Author Mrs_TNT: Is that a serious question right now? Well, I guess you'll have to read to find out. This story begins at the end of his first imprisonment and follows Phoenix as he tries to recover his memories from before he was imprisoned and bound to the Jailer System as well as gain power and complete the missions given by Solaris until he can finally be free and exact his revenge before he has his soul annihilated so that he never reincarnates again. I may do flashbacks or even write a prequel after this novel is finished depicting his long, long journey just to get to the beginning of this novel. Be Warned! There will be several triggering topics addressed in this novel, though it is not a dark romance it does touch on abuse: neglect, mental, verbal, physical and sexual. This is a Boy Love, LGBT or gay romance novel that will have explicit scenes. I will not be putting warnings up as I go along. I am working through some of my own trauma through writing this novel, so I understand it is not for everyone. That said this is very loosely based off some of my own experiences and any coincidences between names, places or events is just that a coincidence and have nothing in common unless I state other wise and will credit it if I do as well. Cover art was made by me using A.I. image generator and editing it myself. I hold all rights to this novel.
Phoenix's P.O.V.:
'Master, Master, you are finally awake again.' I sit up and shake my head at Solaris, my system, assistant and best friend all rolled into one. 'He has been my constant companion for the past, hmmm well let me calculate it for a moment, please stand by...'
(Phoenix is doing the math really quick)
'Oh yeah, it has been 22 thousand, years, give or take a few, now.' 'You know I may have actually lost my mind a long time ago and I am just too far gone to realize it yet.' Thinking this a huffed out a sigh as I scold myself for talking to myself as if it's a new person to talk to. Well only having one constant companion that only you can hear in your head for 22 thousand years would make a person a bit, off.
'How I have not completely lost it yet is beyond me, but I do know that I would have for sure gone completely insane a very long time ago if I did not have Solaris.'
Thinking of this Phoenix could not keep a helpless smile from spreading across his beautiful jadelike face, revealing an adorable dimple on his left cheek.
-Phoenix - "Hey Solaris how long was I asleep?"
-Solaris – 'Master was asleep for 169 years. I was finally able to break Master free from his imprisonment, but it took a lot of soul power. Master now is free to make his own choices however you will have to follow the personality of the shells you inhabit in order to keep the worlds from imploding, just until we gain enough power back.'
Though only Phoenix could hear Solaris if anyone else could hear him they would envision an excited 5-year-old little one who was showing off his art project from school that day, such was the tone he gave off. Every time Phoenix heard Solaris speak in that tone and manor, he just wanted to pinch Solaris' little chubby cheeks, at least that is what Phoenix envisioned Solaris to be like.
Now that he thinks about it, he is not sure how Solaris sees himself other than as a boy. Though that would typically be very strange seeing that Solaris is just an A.I. system, he was sentient. Thus, he saw himself as a boy not and it or a bunch of codes. He will defiantly have to ask him about it one day but for now there are more pressing things to think about.
Going back to what Solaris had just said about him finally breaking free from his prison completely, was shocking to say the least. Currently, he was whirlwind of emotions and thoughts.
Phoenix could not help but raise his eyebrows at that news. He was pleasantly surprised as he thought it would take another 400 years at least to gain enough power to break free! He was overwhelmed with emotion as he thought about his situation and all he has endured over the last 32+ thousand years.
He was tortured and forced to live one pathetic life after another with no reprieve. He is not sure why he is being punished to live a life filled with only suffering and torment. His lives had all been filled with all the most heartbreaking events one could think of and even worse. To say he has PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is the most understatement of the millennia.
He can remember the pain both physically and psychologically in excruciatingly vivid detail!
He has Hyperthymesia Highly Superior Autobiographical Memory, HSAM for short and it is as much a curse as a blessing! He always took it for granted in his first life. Well, that is not exactly true as, it is not so much a memory as it is a gut feeling.
It is strange but he could not remember anything before waking up and finding out that he had now had a Jailor System, that had forcefully bound itself to his soul. It was not until Solaris came and he started to gain power that he started to have echoes of long forgotten and distant memories that he was sure was locked away in his soul somewhere and somehow.
He cannot recall much other than that he came from a world called Earth and it was some time in the late 21st or 22nd century or he thinks anyways. He also has this deep-seated feeling that he took his HSAM for granted. He also feels this immense void, as if there is a piece or pieces of him missing but that is probably due to his memories being locked away.
Since Phoenix awoke in his first life after waking up with his Jailor System, he has been betrayed by every single person he ever trusted but, in every life. He had no choice but to depend on others as he started every life as a baby.
Without fail in every life he was neglected and or abused from the moment he opened his eyes after entering that life. He can no longer stand physical contact of any kind nor any type of relationship. After all he has been through, he can honestly say that he would not mind watching this whole multiverse implode.
In every life he was forced to do and endure things he didn't want to. He has played many roles but mostly he was resigned to cannon fodder. Now that he was free, he was determined to never be that helpless and weak again. His eyes were cold and his face impassive but if one looked closely, they could see his jaw muscles clinch as he recalled his imprisonment.
He does not know who the person or organization is that sentenced him to live one horrific and soul crushing life after the other, nor why. In fact, he has no clue where to even begin looking for answers since he practically had no memory of the time before he woke up in his first life.
Phoenix chuckled darkly as his eyes turned as cold as absolute zero as he recalled that life, that life changed irrevocably changed and darkened him eternally.
Solaris who could feel the cold and oppressive aura and thoughts pouring from his master in waves tucked himself into the corners of Phoenix's mind and remained silent not wanting to draw attention to himself. His poor master has been corrupted but all the torture he endured, his heart aches for his dear master because he knows that he is not a bas soul just a damaged one that deserves to heal and take revenge on those who did this to him. Solaris knows that his master would never hurt him but when he gets like this, well he really is terrifying!
Phoenix was too occupied by his thoughts to notice how scared and upset he had made Solaris continued to spiral as he thought fell into a PTSD episode while having flashbacks of his first and second life with the Jailor System.
The first life though horrific and bleak did not even compare with his second life.
****** Flashback - Deep in thought ******
That was fun one he ended up in an insane asylum for 60 years before he finally passed away. He spent that whole life thinking he really was insane. Then when he woke up in his second life with all the memories of his first life. He tried to tell his parents about it but they cursed him and called him a demon. He was only four years old at the time.
His parents called a falling star and said that he was possessed by a demon. That if they allowed him to stay, he would bring ruin to the whole family. His older brother and apple of his parents' eye convinced them to see the shaman who told them that in order to save the family he must weaken the demon before they kill him to exercise the demon and make sure it can never harm the family again. The shaman if he was even a real shaman proceed to rape him over the course of a month before they finally ended his life by slitting his throat in a cleansing ceremony. That all was until reincarnated and still had his memories from what he calls his first and second world.
Since he had all his memories from his first life, 70 years of it, he understood what was happening to him. He tried in his third life to fight back even at a young age but his Jailor System quickly took away his free will, first by excruciating shocks and when he still didn't give up it took away his free will all together. He was just a consciousness in a body he had zero control of and was forced to endure everything the Jailor System chose for him.
He lost count of how many asylums magic and "religious" rituals he was forced to endure and that was not even the worst part of it! Ha, none of those were to help him it was all a bunch of bullshit people came up with in order to swindle others; as well as hold power over those who could not fight back. People are so stupid that they will believe anything as long as they want and choose to believe in it. He was pretty sure that the asylums for the insane was just a marketing gimmick; made up so that society could hide away the problem people, all the while allowing those in charge to free do whatever they wanted as long as they said it was in the name of helping the patients.
****** End of flashback ******
Phoenix physically shuttered while he closed his eyes and fought the bile that was rising in his throat and threatening to pour out at any moment. His heart began to race, and he felt dizzy as he heard a train roaring in his ears. He held his breath for 15 seconds in order to slow his racing heart and lower his blood pressure. Once the anxiety attack stopped, he took a deep breath and steadied himself. He was thankful it did not turn into a full-blown panic attack. He dissociated himself from those memories and after several moments he was able to come out of his panic attack.
All the while reminding himself over and over again that he is safe now, and that he will be ok.
This whole scene only made Solaris' heart ache for his dear master. He felt so helpless and wished he could talk all his master's pain away!
The 1st chapter is offically up! Wow, it took me a very long time to get here but it was worth it! Thank you to everyone who decided to give my novel a chance. I would love to hear from yall on your thoughts and any long term theries you might have for the novel and where it may go.