example of exposition in a story

Grammar is good. One of the few fanfics that don't have the MC become OP right off the bat, and thereby removing all suspense from the novel. Unfortunately, much of the story is made of exposition. Ex: Vegeta wished for Bardock to come back to life, and he appeared on the planet That's the typical thing you can find in the story, versus: Ex: Vegeta voiced his wish, and as the dragon Porunga roared, motes of light slowly gathered together forming first a cell, and then bone, before being wrapped in blood and flesh. Bardock had been reborn. So the first example just tells us what happens, i.e. exposition. The 2nd example shows us in a vivid, descriptive manner a scene which forms in front of our eyes. This is the stuff that's found in great books.

Review up to around #30. Grammar and spelling are well above average, the story is a slow burn but is slowly progressing at a steady pace, plenty of character development... However... the biggest issue for me is the exposition dumps, monologuing, and unnatural conversations. For example, early on an entire chapter is dedicated to a exposition dump on beasts, which could have been edited down considerably to something much more concise, or even better, have the information naturally dispersed throughout the story. Characters frequently exposition dump or explain things in excruciating detail, spanning multiple long paragraphs without pause, often repeating the same concept multiple times. This makes many conversations feel more like a lecture than a natural conversation. The author could remedy this by having the other characters in the scene interact more, asking questions, pondering on the information provided, or have the characters physically move in the scene.

The writing quality was garbage. Please work on it. The entire story was predictable and cringe. The characters were generic and the way they talked was horrible and cringe. The world was so generic that I rolled my eyes multiple times. Now, with my biggest issue, ducking exposition, so much exposition, half of the chapters sometimes are just exposition, for f's sake, stop.

The story is good so far, but there are quite a few grammar errors and exposition dumps.