how do you write a story with dialogue

I enjoy the book. The only thing that I don't like about the book is the grammar. Dialogue grammar needs improvement. I took grammar lessons to learn how to write dialogues correctly. If you want an example on how do it correctly then read the dialogue from my book Nirvana. I use different ways of wording the dialogue and you can use it as a model to improve your book. Nice job and keep going.

DO NOT WRITE DIALOGUE LIKE ITS A SCREENPLAY. It ruins immersion and makes the story borderline unreadable. you have an interesting premise, but getting past chapter one was way more hassle than it had any right to be.

Pretty nice, you seem to have figured out how to write proper dialogue, so that's good. In addition to that you also write really good fight scenes, and seem to have an idea of where to take it. As for the pace, it's somewhat good, however the dialogue does take up much of the story, so much infact that there's not much description of the environment. The grammar is a bit clunky sometimes? Maybe you should try grammarly, it'll automatically correct and fix sentences.

You know you should do something abosut his memories lol many people hate it but yeahh im okay with that, and u should do more dialogue (my opinion) and be careful when he have a dialogue with young justice member they're all is a youngster that still have a puberty so u should do the dialogue with more 'live' in it. You know what it means right? Teenager have a different personalities Beastbot with his noisy, raven with her ignorance, kid flash that alomost same with beast boy, just make sure do some research of dc character personalities before you write the dialogue. And least: im sorry for my bad english senpai

At first, your story is very good but your biggest minus point is your writing, it's not just a grammar problem but also the way you write. Example:[ "little girl" I gasped ] you put Eleanor in the Ares dialog, first let him finish the dialogue and what Eleanor is feeling in it will start from the next. In many places, I do not understand what are you trying to express. I think the way you write is confusing. I would suggest you read the chapters first and then write each dialogue properly with proper grammar and punctuation. There are still a few chapters, so it won't take you long to fix it.