tony and susan novel
An amazing world of cultivation. A majestic world where miracles happen. There is a warrior who defies destiny and forge his own path facing innumerable difficulties ahead. Come and join the life of the person who will go against the set destiny of the cruel world and become something extraordinary. ===== Extraordinary my foot. What is this illogical cr*p? Does it even make sense? If you are doctor, then work in a hospital. What the hell are you doing going after girls? If you are a commander in the army, then bring your army to get revenge on those who wronged you. Why go through the trouble of pretending to be a weakling. You are a useless son in law? Your wife's family thinks you are good for nothing? Then how the hell did you score her in the first place?!!! If they like money so much and you are a hidden millionaire, then why in the name of sanity would you hide this fact and be berated every day?!!! The hell is all this?!!! The more I read it, the more illogical it becomes. Like this all came straight out of someone's as-- [Host, why don't you calm down?] 'You shut up!!! You're the reason I'm stuck here in the first place!!!!' [Host, you need anger management] 'THE FU*K DID YOU SAY?!!!!!' ===== Hello everyone! This is my second novel and so far, nothing is decided. This is just an idea that has been plaguing my mind for quite a long time and I decided to let it out and let you guys decide whether or not I should work on it. Give it a proper read and let me know. You guys will decide the fate of this novel. Also, I would like you guys to come up with proper genres for this story. Bonus chapters: 150 PS for one chapter 300 PS for another chapter 20 GT for two chapters 50 GT for another two chapters 1 Review of 4 stars or above, 1 extra chapters Maximum extra chapters per week: 7 ===== The cover is A.I generated and is not mine. If the real owner would like me to remove it, let me know in any chapter comments. That's it. Enjoy! ~~ Character art: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1B7sHito4UOZqPIK5pPyIFTzgqiaT_ZlU?usp=sharing
1) Use Grammarly or something to fix errors and space out the dialogues. 2) The "Romance" with Susan is just cringe and irritating, he basically harassed her and stole from her, and she is still friendly with him, if it was any woman in US be it fiction or not, they would have called 911 a long time ago, and on the second day of meeting him they are basically already in 'close friends' relationship and on the third day the become a couple. 3) The premise is amazing, but the bad qualities outweigh the good ones so until you fix those, I doubt I will be reading more than 3 chapters. If the story gets better, please someone comment here to let me know so that I can start reading this again. EDIT (I have read till chapter 6 since THE AUTHOR said I should write the review after reading more than 3 chapters) 4) The Timeline is just messed up Susan Storm is the same age as MC which is 15 or so, the Chitari Invasion happened in which MC's mother died and then we are in Spider-Man Homecoming like what happened in the middle? 5) the MC is now just acting like child he meets Tony and Peter on the roof during Spider-Man Homecoming where Tony is about to take back the red and blue spider suit, he goes there on the rooftop, rants about being his son, about how Tony was the one who tricked his mother into having an intercourse, and when Tony is ready to take him in, he says to leave him alone, like what? why would the MC even want to be acknowledged as Tony's son if he doesn't even want a father nor his money? This is just stupid, instead of that how about he makes his own anti Iron man gear and targets Tony, somehow Tony figures out that the MC is his son and apologizes to him and then he takes him in sort or like a villain-turned-hero. MC just wants to hurt Tony for what his mother had to go through then when he discovers that it was the ploy of Obadiah Stain he forgives Tony.