tips for editing that first draft novel

This is a cute novel that appeals to a young audience, and that appears to have been written by a young aspiring writer. There remains to be much need for editing and proofing, and the story reads like a first-draft, or even, at times, a stream-of-consciousness piece, but the plot is engaging and there are many characters to enjoy.

I really like the novel, but tbh, it feels more like a rough draft than a novel. It very badly needs editing on some chapters and is a bit too fast-paced, IMO, but overall, it's a good novel.

This story currently reads like a draft of rough notes with story hidden way deep that first you need to read the paragraph, if you can find where the paragraph is supposed to end, then stitch it again together with proper punctuation marks and grammar as should be. Basically this story currently is just a draft, it needs a lot of editing and second, third, fourth and even fifth read-through.

Dropped this fanfic after about one minute. The grammar is beyond terrible. I would seriously recommend the author to spend some time going back and editing his/her work, as it seems his/her story hasn't developed past a rough first draft.

The Author starts out his first book Mortal rather well as it builds up the world and the main character very well. In this second novel the writing quality takes a downturn as well as the editing very heavily. He uses the same phrase over and over in many situations and all in all it gets rather frustrating to read. The story also completely leaves everything that happens in the first novel and changes to all new people and situations also the Asans personality feels like it changes to much. My assessment is throw it back to the editing and rough draft stage and rethink the overall direction the story is going. Other than that it is a very good novel if you can change the sentences and phrases in your head as you read.