Hello, I'm reading your book and I really don't feel connected to your main character. Who is the main character, and is he reincarnated or something? Does he have a system? The story goes so fast that I can't create connections. I mean, the dude is talking to girls, maybe you should create the girls' inner voices more. And you should create a background. I mean, your character goes to the beach. What properties does the beach have, or what is the current weather? What color are the girls' bikinis—pink, red, or something else? Are there many people? Little details add life to the story. So, you should create more background details of the environment. You should provide more knowledge about your character to create empathy. And you should create more inner voices and more details about people for connections. When you make transitions, add more detail. And your character development is not fine. You are creating a character who is a genius, who thinks "I don't need school, f*ck society." You should add more details about why Ryan thinks like that, which books or experiences lead Ryan to think like that. Again, it's a detail issue. I hope you understand, my English is not good.
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Lol what? Ryan? Ryan Atwood is not the MC?
Oh and I didn’t create Ryan he’s a character from The O.C
lol if readers can't easily tell who's the MC then your fic is in trouble.
In my defense… he did say his English isn’t that good
learn to take criticism and grow!
I can, but again it’s not my fault if he doesn’t know who the MC is when it’s pretty damn clear. Plus a lot of WN readers skim and miss details. 🤷🏽♂️
Come on, that wasn't even the author's fault, it's more than clear that Michael is the mc, but in fact the main review has some good points where there really is room for improvement
