webnovel
setag_8
setag_8Lv13mth
2024-12-27 00:22

I think you have a good idea and the story progression is good but you might want to work on your power scaling and fleshing out of relationships The MC has a good amount of powers to learn and draw inspiration from with the sand fruit but you are limiting him quite frequently and it becomes frustrating watching the MC limit himself to one ability against weak antagonists. Additionally though his current weakness does make sense as he hasn't trained for very long, he still should be far more effective and creative with his powers taking down fodder ,like the gravity villain, nearly immediately. MHA can be irritating to power scale as most strong villains don't appear till later in the story but if the MC is in a fight with an original villain try give more credible reasons as to why he would struggle like he does instead of having the MC take frustratingly long to stop one group of cannon fodder. Making the MC too strong can be a credible fear for the story but it can be used to add some character growth as the MC could become arrogant fighting fodder for so long, only to be beaten by a cannon villain like Shigaraki when they fail to take his threat seriously and they (or someone else) gets hurt by the MC's arrogance. I also feel like your relationships between characters could do with some work. This is usually very difficult for a fast paced story like yours, so I would advise either remove some time skips and slow the pacing or thoroughly plan interactions between characters. I think it would also be more organic if the MC had more interactions between his parents or friends just as slice of life as it would give the MC more depth and avoid you as a author falling into the troupe of having a cool and strong MC with no depth or actual character to him. all in all I think your story has great potential and could be really good just work on the interactions and his use of Haki and it would be even better.

Liked by 68 people

LIKE
Replies4
ZetharQuinn
ZetharQuinnAuthor

MISTYSLAYER45
MISTYSLAYER45Lv4

what can I say it's a great review

novel_enjoyer0321
novel_enjoyer0321Lv13

ZetharQuinn:
image
Magasu_senpai
Magasu_senpaiLv14

you doin Romance or no if so who will his love inteerest

ZetharQuinn:
image
Other Reviews
Animetine
AnimetineLv14
Related Stories

Naruto: About the Fact That my Brother is Madara

Kyōsuke got reincarnated into the world of Naruto in the Warring States period and became an ordinary member of the Uchiha clan. At this time, Uchiha Madara was still just a teenager, the God of Shinobi was still pondering how to make World Peace, Black Zetsu was plotting how to split the moon to save his mother, and the enigmatic Jigen was quietly chanting sutras in a secluded temple. The young Kyōsuke stepped onto the battlefield, but fortunately, he awakened a Point Redemption System, allowing him to trade points earned by killing enemies for various abilities. [Tenseigan, SSS-level item, requires 200,000 points to exchange.] [Divine Tree Seed, SSS-level item, requires 200,000 points to exchange.] [Truth-Seeking Orbs, SSS-level ability, requires 200,000 points to exchange.] [Yamotsu Hirasaka, SS-level ability, requires 100,000 points to exchange.] Uchiha Madara: "Kyōsuke, you and I as brothers can surely annihilate the Senju Clan together!" Senju Hashirama: "My friend, let’s realize the dream of building Konoha Village together!" Black Zutsu: "Help me save my mother!" Uzumaki Mito: "You promised to marry me—are you trying to go back on your word?" Otsutsuki Kaguya: "This is bad! The clan’s law enforcement team is here. Kyōsuke, defend against them with me!" Otsutsuki Isshiki: "Impossible! How do you know my unique eye technique?!" Uchiha Kyōsuke: "Impossible? Please, I can even hit the moon!" ——————————————————— This is a Translation Raw: 火影:关于我兄弟是斑爷这档事 Author: 闲者阿七 Support me on Patreon to read 20+ Chapters Ahead https://www.patreon.com/Night_FrOst

Night_FrOst_ · Anime & Comics
4.5
227 Chs