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Garrick_D
Garrick_DLv124mth
2024-11-23 03:43

Ugh.. the original version of this story had a much better premise. Not only is the mc here a burgeoning edgelord, he’s incredibly close to just being a villian. You gave a character that’s suppose to have Arthur’s memory’s and powers to a person who isn’t even close to what Arthur encapsulates as a person. Unless the mc was just so evil that it took Arthur to even him out to neutral, then I don’t think the character works at all.

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_TheWatcher_
_TheWatcher_Author

Well what you said might seem true for how MC is and I did state in a chapter where Arthur says that despite him training with Caliburn he felt something amiss.

Elvenerable
ElvenerableLv2

The mc is too passive and makes the story boring, practically I understand the thing about wanting to get into trouble but the charm of that is making the problems find you and screw up your life, another thing would be that I thought that Dafne Grengrass disappeared and I thought I was going to be the protagonist's love interest and I was going to contribute something and just like the other characters who only had 1 line or 2, friend, I know you're trying but like that it becomes something meh, practically the bird carries the story

_TheWatcher_:Well what you said might seem true for how MC is and I did state in a chapter where Arthur says that despite him training with Caliburn he felt something amiss.
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