Finally, someone has taken on the task of adapting a wonderful novella. And I can definitely say that you've done better than the original, it's obvious that you've tried your best. Since you asked for advice, I can only tell you to concentrate on football and family. In the original, it was annoying that the MC was wasting his time on unnecessary activities like fashion shows and so on. It's like winning the lottery a golden ticket. I can understand it if he's already 30 years old, but to do it at the beginning? That's bullshit.
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