hey guys, it's me , and with another fanfic, you might find first chap slightly similar to my other one, but everything else is different here and this one is better, just give it a try and you will love it.
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i am diving in man, i hope you don't loose track of the story
i did and i have to say one thing, man it actually good but if feels like your notes or drafts rather than the actual story. if you could expand these summaries into interaction it would feel real. plus you are giving too much power to mc at once, give the same power piece by piece and it would be better, you can make unlocking each class skill as slow process and show us whats happening rather than say. at the end its your story and I am just giving my opinion. you are rushing things so chill out and gradually write, don't get caught up and summarise everything. plus you can start world travel and have those summon card be rewards for finishing a world travel.
Hey dude, can you put the tag of harem on it so people like me who hate harem Can avoid it .
hmm, I try to explain things better
Fickle_as_light:i did and i have to say one thing, man it actually good but if feels like your notes or drafts rather than the actual story. if you could expand these summaries into interaction it would feel real. plus you are giving too much power to mc at once, give the same power piece by piece and it would be better, you can make unlocking each class skill as slow process and show us whats happening rather than say. at the end its your story and I am just giving my opinion. you are rushing things so chill out and gradually write, don't get caught up and summarise everything. plus you can start world travel and have those summon card be rewards for finishing a world travel.
well, it's your style but you know you can show important points as they happen like for example mc inviting Peter to the team and etc. i mean you can think that you have run through a lot of your plans in just 24 chapters so think about what you will do later as then you will try to extend plot if you burn through plans fast and then you will loose intrest or the story will spiral out of control. anyways it's actually promising just add more characters interaction scenarios
Boring_World:hmm, I try to explain things better
okay
Fickle_as_light:well, it's your style but you know you can show important points as they happen like for example mc inviting Peter to the team and etc. i mean you can think that you have run through a lot of your plans in just 24 chapters so think about what you will do later as then you will try to extend plot if you burn through plans fast and then you will loose intrest or the story will spiral out of control. anyways it's actually promising just add more characters interaction scenarios
