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Kyle_Cochrane_3690
Kyle_Cochrane_3690Lv145mth
2024-10-31 16:21

This story starts off rather excellent. Than dxd part of the book is amazing. Then you get blindsided with a multiverse saga that is essentially just the mc going through hard time after hard time, which I think if the only way you can develop your character is through suffering than you aren’t a great writer. The powerscaling makes no sense as well, we go from losing half our limbs to muzan then going par for par with post aizen saga ichigo, with no noted strength improvements.

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MeatBeef
MeatBeefAuthor

Other than revealing spoilers to potential readers, When he fights Ichigo he was not Ichigo's equal. The powerscaling won't make sense if you apply that the MC is at full strength for every fight, there are characters who are faster, there are characters who are slower but might be stronger than the MC. While my sources of reddit and vsbattle might not be 100% accurate I stick with them to keep a consistent base for those the MC fights against and scaling him on conditions, I've mentioned that in chapters before. The MC going through hard times is what I consider the first half of the story, him growing and developing through it is natural. If you would like to could you clarify what you mean by "with no noted strength improvements." Have an awesome October!

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MeatBeef
MeatBeefAuthor

Nest0r
Nest0rLv4

This is a really nice fanfic. I would say it's charming in its simplicity. Though it has quite many problems, the most notable being that it is too action-paced. Fighting to more fighting and even more fighting, with sparse character interactions, and when character interactions were about to begin, on the reader's side, two red flags were thrown, and *boom* even more fighting. Still, the fights are done quite well, so it isn't as bad as it could be. Even though character interactions are sparse, they are mostly well-written, though some of them resulted in fights and God, when you have so many figths already, and even in character interactions you add more fights... It's like those people who add 11 spoons of sugar to the tea. [SPOILERS BELOW] I liked him using weird words instead of swearing. Quite obviously it was something from his previous life, and I don't really know why he stopped. I mean probably as a sign he matured or maned up, like the whole girl cutting her long hair trope, but I don't consider drinking and swearing to be a sign of maturing, the same with cutting hair. Also, this is probably the worst character background I have ever seen. I mean, the only fine thing about that is that he didn't want to swear and used some interesting words instead. That was really nice and original. But all the other aspects of his background felt like somebody took the most brainless Turkey soap opera and added a femboy there just for it to gain a more 'modern' vibe. I was laughing so hard when his father decided to just randomly sign the document that in a lawyer's language would be translated with something like, "If life hits you with anything, your kids will be without anything to support their living.". Why he did that? Because he has enamored... Yeah, great reason... And later he was shameless enough to give advice to his son, who now had to work for three people. I pretty much took it as satire. There are many other quite weird things, some frustrating, some rather dumb. I mean, literally, the beginning was just a process of introducing characters to have them k*lled. The spirit of the sword and the guy who taught him the basics of fighting. The moment when Venelana gave him a warning and all that. With how much he was scared at that moment, I think he would just change schools instead. Why the plum would he just pay a year's rent? I mean, he literally was living in that room for a week or two, and just like that, he decided to pay a year's rent just to have the room in the same state when he will come back? The whole Grayfia thing was weird as pineapple. I think the author wrote in some comment that it was because she cared about her family immensely. That still doesn't explain why you would just get a guy the day after the fiasco and try to scare him. I mean, if she were caring so much, she would have a track record of thr*atening Riser whenever he was alone. And that's not mentioning that a maid wouldn't do something like that to her master's guest. While the plot twist of the blood river being the place where trihexa is sealed was good, randomly unrelasing him certainly plumming wasn't. When I thought the rushed pace would finally stabilize, it got multiplied instead. With even more fighting. It might be just me, but personally, I hate complicating the plot unnecessarily like that. The whole multiversum, world jumping, time jumping, and all that plums. I mean, if there was a need for this, wouldn't it be easier to just make the protagonist some nameless hero who would fight in the Record of Ragnarok with bare hands? And after that, let him hop worlds, because his wish would be something like "I want a place to belong." And finally, in DxD, he would find out that he is in fact a swordsman. Simple plot, but let's look for the positives. HIS WORLD WOULDN"T BE DESTROYED just so he could have a reason for world travel. Right now the author is very thorough in making every talk protagonist have last 15 minutes at maximum and characters he meets to cease existing in 1 week to 1 month from the first interaction. The Record of Ragnarok arc was quite nice, but I feel like the fights were too exaggerated, at least the second one. I mean, we already have lots of fights, so when those are also long... We are near a very dangerous border. Also, what about the whole learning the basics of blacksmithing? The MHA world looks promising. About my review, even though it is written in this kind of way, don't treat it like an attack. I'm just the kind of guy that can't stop complaining. Overall, I like this fanfic; if I didn't, I wouldn't be reading so far, and I plan to continue.

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A man from an Earth gets the choice to start over in any Universe and chooses an Alternate Pokemon Universe. Let us see if his journey to the top is succesful and the impact he will have on his new world. Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Game Freak and Creatures Inc. I just use their sandbox for the plot of my MC and my OCs. This will be a "slow" paced story, in fact it's "super slow paced", so please don't expect the MC to directly start his journey in 20 chapters or so, actually multiply that by like 15. A lot is going to happen before that happens. The first 10-20 chapters or so are information heavy, depending on what kind of reader you are. I try to keep my chapter length between 2000 and 3000 words per chapter. My release rate is 4 chapter/week for now. I have a patre*n for those that want to support me with access to some advance chapters as a thank you. patre*n.com/Azrail93 This is an alternate pokemon universe so there will be differences to the games, manga and anime. So if something in the story is different it is most likely on purpose. The original sources are seen as suggestions not laws. Differences can be: Type variants, evolution conditions, strength mechanics, world building and more. If I am at some point asking for reader input I will do so but otherwise I will ignore most suggestions. So please don't spam things like catch this pokemon or do that next. I have my plot planned and external input will be considered when asked for. If I see a suggestion that I believe fit my plot flow I will use it and will credit the commentor. Comments on spelling and grammar mistakes are welcome. I will try to correct said mistakes with time. Constructive criticism will be read and considered. Insult and hate comments will be ignored or deleted depending on severity. Readers naturally can comment their dislike but one worders will be ignored. If the reason for the dislike is explained I will read it. Like previously mentioned pure insults and hate comments will be ignored or deleted. The same is true for simple hate reviews or insulting ones. Reviews complaining about something I warned about, such as the slow pace, will be deleted as well.

Azrail93 · Anime & Comics
4.5
865 Chs