This is a really nice fanfic. I would say it's charming in its simplicity. Though it has quite many problems, the most notable being that it is too action-paced. Fighting to more fighting and even more fighting, with sparse character interactions, and when character interactions were about to begin, on the reader's side, two red flags were thrown, and *boom* even more fighting. Still, the fights are done quite well, so it isn't as bad as it could be. Even though character interactions are sparse, they are mostly well-written, though some of them resulted in fights and God, when you have so many figths already, and even in character interactions you add more fights... It's like those people who add 11 spoons of sugar to the tea. [SPOILERS BELOW] I liked him using weird words instead of swearing. Quite obviously it was something from his previous life, and I don't really know why he stopped. I mean probably as a sign he matured or maned up, like the whole girl cutting her long hair trope, but I don't consider drinking and swearing to be a sign of maturing, the same with cutting hair. Also, this is probably the worst character background I have ever seen. I mean, the only fine thing about that is that he didn't want to swear and used some interesting words instead. That was really nice and original. But all the other aspects of his background felt like somebody took the most brainless Turkey soap opera and added a femboy there just for it to gain a more 'modern' vibe. I was laughing so hard when his father decided to just randomly sign the document that in a lawyer's language would be translated with something like, "If life hits you with anything, your kids will be without anything to support their living.". Why he did that? Because he has enamored... Yeah, great reason... And later he was shameless enough to give advice to his son, who now had to work for three people. I pretty much took it as satire. There are many other quite weird things, some frustrating, some rather dumb. I mean, literally, the beginning was just a process of introducing characters to have them k*lled. The spirit of the sword and the guy who taught him the basics of fighting. The moment when Venelana gave him a warning and all that. With how much he was scared at that moment, I think he would just change schools instead. Why the plum would he just pay a year's rent? I mean, he literally was living in that room for a week or two, and just like that, he decided to pay a year's rent just to have the room in the same state when he will come back? The whole Grayfia thing was weird as pineapple. I think the author wrote in some comment that it was because she cared about her family immensely. That still doesn't explain why you would just get a guy the day after the fiasco and try to scare him. I mean, if she were caring so much, she would have a track record of thr*atening Riser whenever he was alone. And that's not mentioning that a maid wouldn't do something like that to her master's guest. While the plot twist of the blood river being the place where trihexa is sealed was good, randomly unrelasing him certainly plumming wasn't. When I thought the rushed pace would finally stabilize, it got multiplied instead. With even more fighting. It might be just me, but personally, I hate complicating the plot unnecessarily like that. The whole multiversum, world jumping, time jumping, and all that plums. I mean, if there was a need for this, wouldn't it be easier to just make the protagonist some nameless hero who would fight in the Record of Ragnarok with bare hands? And after that, let him hop worlds, because his wish would be something like "I want a place to belong." And finally, in DxD, he would find out that he is in fact a swordsman. Simple plot, but let's look for the positives. HIS WORLD WOULDN"T BE DESTROYED just so he could have a reason for world travel. Right now the author is very thorough in making every talk protagonist have last 15 minutes at maximum and characters he meets to cease existing in 1 week to 1 month from the first interaction. The Record of Ragnarok arc was quite nice, but I feel like the fights were too exaggerated, at least the second one. I mean, we already have lots of fights, so when those are also long... We are near a very dangerous border. Also, what about the whole learning the basics of blacksmithing? The MHA world looks promising. About my review, even though it is written in this kind of way, don't treat it like an attack. I'm just the kind of guy that can't stop complaining. Overall, I like this fanfic; if I didn't, I wouldn't be reading so far, and I plan to continue.
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I'll be honest straight up. This is my favorite review I've ever read. The whole world-ending plot was originally going to be the ending, but I thought, "Oh wow, the world is destroyed? Boring." So, I decided to start an arc involving world and time traveling. I also felt like I was writing too little action, so I began cramming it in at every possible turn. I'm really happy you pointed out for me that I was doing the opposite. Thank you. The character interactions was something I noticed the story lacked, So I'm hoping to add more Slice Of Life aspect in the story. I hope you continue commenting and reviewing as I go on because it really helps. Have an awesome October!
I'm very happy that you took this review positively. As much as I would like to write things that help authors, I have a tendency to exaggerate tiny problems, and I'm quite subjective. I'm a weird kind that likes overpowered characters, mostly because that makes a great comedy and because I'm more into the wholesomeness and slice of life, and I'm really against drama. Why am I reading DxD fanfics then? Ecchi and Lewds. xD That introduction was just so you know how my views are warped. By that, I want to underline that what I write isn't exactly what a normal fanfic reader would probably appreciate. Now, I've just read the latest chapter; it was very nice, but I would like to shed a little light on the whole situation. As much as the whole situation is nice, taking Eri with the protagonist will pretty much make her the second most important character and the first one to create a deep bond with the MC. That's pretty much like changing genre to parenting. I don't object or anything; I think she could be an awesome element, but it must be at least a little thought of. We don't want him to end up like his father, after all. Now a funny thought I have. I really like this whole "plum" and "pineapple" thing, like I wrote previously. So I thought about how to have it back. Let's say in 200 chapters he has kids, or maybe a proper situation someday arises with Eri or Kunou. Somebody slips near children and swears; he could teach them that swearing is bad and to use the words he was using as a replacement instead. Or considering how much he swears sometimes, in the presence of children, he can again come back to his old habit. PS: You monster! So you are telling me the ending was just the world getting plumming destoryed? That isn't nice of you! xD.
I'm also a beginner fanfic writer, to be honest, creating conversations between characters is the hardest part for me, because what's in my head and when it's realized as writing is very complicated.
