I wanna like this, I like Two and a Half Men, and I like the overall idea. The problem is that it doesn’t feel like Two and a Half men at all. The storyline has been way too heavy and dramatic for a comedy show, and Charlie feels like a completely different character. In the show Charlie struggles to be an uncle and part-time parent to Jake, and in this story he is the stereotypical perfect parent. He hasn’t hooked up with any women, hasn’t drank any alcohol, and hasn’t even cracked an innappropriate joke yet. He is emotionally available and compassionate, and is even civil to Rose without one clever insult. Feels like the author just wanted to put a background to their original story about a kids problems growing up, not a Two and a Half Men fic.
Liked by 5 people
LIKE
I know what you mean BUT it cant be a 1:1 Story. Nero changed the Life of Charlie and others. There is a Hook Up in Chap 14 and there will be more later. Rose will be introduced to Alan and Jake in Chapter 18 witch will show how "annoyed" Charlie is from her. I will rewrite the first chapters after the story is etablished and I will try to better include those traits. Lets think about the Story as a "What if" Story.
And of course thank you for your opinion <3
I understand what you are saying, the issue is there has been no balance in this story. The scales are entirely loaded against Two and a Half Men, instead we have a serious drama with Two and Half Men as the setting. That’s not to say that you have to completely change the story if you want that balance, but you have to put more importance and weight on the comedy. Being a comedy takes more than just cracking a couple jokes. Like take the karaoke birthday party. Instead of that, have Charlie take Nero to a karaoke bar. Nero can have a great birthday, and Charlie is still acting like actual Charlie. Nero spends it singing and dancing with scantily clad girls at the bar who think he is so cute, and Charlie flirts with them and takes one home. They still get their bonding moment, but the comedy is preserved. Instead of a fist fight between Charlie and Nero’s dad, have Charlie just make fun of him. A couple of zinger one liners, that Nero laughs at, and then Nero’s dad can punch Charlie. Same scene, just more comedy and more Two and a Half Men. Instead of Nero singing his sad and depressing song every chapter, have them sing jingles together. Have Charlie bring Nero to poker night. Have them go egg Nero’s dad’s house as revenge. Have Charlie teach Nero how to make the best frozen margarita. All ways to bring out the comedy. I’m just saying, the balance is so far off in this story that it feels more like a less funny version of “Full House” than it does “Two and a Half Men.”
NotYggdra:I know what you mean BUT it cant be a 1:1 Story. Nero changed the Life of Charlie and others. There is a Hook Up in Chap 14 and there will be more later. Rose will be introduced to Alan and Jake in Chapter 18 witch will show how "annoyed" Charlie is from her. I will rewrite the first chapters after the story is etablished and I will try to better include those traits. Lets think about the Story as a "What if" Story.
Okay thx for the ideas. Let me cook and try to rewrite the stuff
JustAnotherFan217:I understand what you are saying, the issue is there has been no balance in this story. The scales are entirely loaded against Two and a Half Men, instead we have a serious drama with Two and Half Men as the setting. That’s not to say that you have to completely change the story if you want that balance, but you have to put more importance and weight on the comedy. Being a comedy takes more than just cracking a couple jokes. Like take the karaoke birthday party. Instead of that, have Charlie take Nero to a karaoke bar. Nero can have a great birthday, and Charlie is still acting like actual Charlie. Nero spends it singing and dancing with scantily clad girls at the bar who think he is so cute, and Charlie flirts with them and takes one home. They still get their bonding moment, but the comedy is preserved. Instead of a fist fight between Charlie and Nero’s dad, have Charlie just make fun of him. A couple of zinger one liners, that Nero laughs at, and then Nero’s dad can punch Charlie. Same scene, just more comedy and more Two and a Half Men. Instead of Nero singing his sad and depressing song every chapter, have them sing jingles together. Have Charlie bring Nero to poker night. Have them go egg Nero’s dad’s house as revenge. Have Charlie teach Nero how to make the best frozen margarita. All ways to bring out the comedy. I’m just saying, the balance is so far off in this story that it feels more like a less funny version of “Full House” than it does “Two and a Half Men.”