Well it's definitely the author's first work, I can tell. I do applaud you wholeheartedly for actually sticking to the story and actually following an upload schedule. Well with that out of the way, I would like to offer some suggestions. The grammar itself isn't the worst. Obviously there are mistakes here and there (mainly about punctuation and sentence structure) but that's about the average quality you can find on webnovel so I wouldn't fault you. You are writing in first person POV which is really good for a character driven writing style, but the problem is that you need to include more descriptive language into your writing to make us engaged with the story as well as adhering to 'show don't tell' thing. You see, humans have 5 senses, but you only describe what the mc sees and exclude hearing and smelling completely which otherwise could have helped in making your world feel alive (here you can also use metaphors and comparisons like many authors do). You should also include more internal monologues so that at the very least make him somewhat entertaining to read, as well as slow down the pace a bit to make actions feel natural.
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