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Pocket_AI
Pocket_AILv21mth
2024-11-06 18:19

It's ok, but some problems are obvious. 1. ! in the end of EVERY sentence. That's not how people speak. A lot of things from chinese fics must be fixed - that's one of them. 2. Constant use of Brother/sister between non-relatives. Again, that's not how people in HP speak. 3. Dialogues sometimes feel extremely artificial. Example: ALL things that veelas-kids say. How can I, Ethan, be bothered with making dialogues good?

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Bored_reader027
Bored_reader027Author

Thanks for pointing these problems out. I will try to resolve them as best as possible. And can you point out some more problems that need to be fixed that you said in the first point other than the use off "!". That will be really helpful

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