webnovel
50points
50pointsLv157mth
2024-10-14 13:23

starting with world background: other land mass are mentioned not going into any details, the town where the story takes place (first 40 chp) is split into 3 parts with no active descriptions, few building names given left vaguely mentioned, confuses names of areas such as Black Pine Forest then gets turned into Black Fog Forest. Updating Stability was left at a 3 for me as a base. Characters are given very brief descriptions: MC family is a bunch of stickfigures at the best none given clothes, hair, face, eyes no sort of descriptions. Story is slow paced at one point the group wanders a forest for three to four days without any actual significance to storyline development. Often things don't add up or even are explained: Guard Captin is poisoned by a porcupine (not given any magically properties we are made aware of) even though they are hunting boars and at no point are porcupines mentioned before this instance. Which causes story derailment and overall breaking of any sort of immersion. I hope to see a rewritten version of the story however considering payment is needed by the 28th or 29th chapter which hardly has time to establish a strong tie or desire to continue the story I doubt I would come back. Best of Luck with your story. Overall it's got some fun ideas but without a rewritten or reviewed concept I can't see myself paying for the content.

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GregLikesBooks
GregLikesBooksLv4

I haven't read it, but I suspect that your pig vs porcupine is probably a translator error (or MTL). I've seen it be translated like that (erroneously) before. Probably because boars have 'bristles' that could be kind of like a porcupine's. But that's just a guess.

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3.8
1261 Chs