webnovel
Petra_Gatusang
Petra_GatusangLv35mth
2024-11-01 08:12

the story is superb and intense for the first chapter

Liked by 2 people

LIKE
Replies1
livingandreading
livingandreadingAuthor

Thank you reading and reviewing. Please keep reading and let me know your thoughts :)

Other Reviews
MiizStudz
MiizStudzLv14

okay I really like the plot and the story line, but it could be written slightly better. although it has gotten better since the start, it can still be confusing at times. I still got sucked into it though and read all available chapters, as I said I really am enjoying the story line, but if the author would go back and edit the story I believe it could be a top seller. you just need to make things more clear. although the spelling is fine it's more that some sentences or paragraphs don't fully make sense or they feel like they don't belong. every scene should clearly end and begin, and every fact or detail should be clearly explained. remember, we don't know everything that you do, so we need everything explained to us, and clearly. Is this story translated? if so that would make more sense why certain things are confusing. I'm not trying to be harsh, but I hate to see such a good story not make it when some editing could solve everything. just make sure everything is clearly explained and we know when scenes are changing and fully understood what happened on that scene. and be consistent, for example, Lydia started being called Claudia. you mentioned a Ward but you don't use it in a context that would explain what it is. you mention Corra has 5, her cousin 100 and her brother 0, but you do not explain 100 of what and what this means to have this number? I really like the story but like I said it needs editing. it feels a little rushed at times. or seems more like to your ideas where flowing so fast in your mind that you tried to keep up with them on paper, when you should make notes of them first, and then slow down, plan it all out, and then put them all in the story with more descriptions around them. have someone who doesn't know the story test read it maybe. Basically just make sure others are able to understand what's going on, and it will be an amazing story. can't wait to read more! hope it gets better as I hate to walk away if it gets more confusing. as I said I really like the plot and story line and how is all playing out!! we don't get left in suspension forever waiting for reveals or things to play out and I like that the people are dumb and can realize things most people would. good luck!!

Related Stories

Transmigrated Into The True Heiress

Eira Kingston, a feared assassin, never imagined that death would lead her to transmigrate into the body of Ephyra Allen, the disgraced first daughter of the once-powerful Allen family. But what shocked her even more was the soft mechanical voice in her mind, addressing her as "master" and informing her that her soul had returned to its original body. Eira dismissed the strange voice, thinking she was having a post-death hallucination. But waking up in a hospital, with memories that weren’t hers flooding back, she was forced to confront the truth. Ephyra’s life had been nothing short of a nightmare. Despite being the legitimate daughter, she was labeled a bastard, shunned by all, and overshadowed by her scheming stepsister, who had stolen the love of her father and her betrothed. To make matters worse, the wealth and status the Allen family enjoyed were all thanks to Ephyra’s late mother, and the only reason she hadn’t been discarded entirely was due to her mother’s inheritance, locked away until she turned eighteen. But Eira wasn’t one to be defeated by circumstances. If she was going to live Ephyra’s life, she would do so on her own terms. She would destroy those who had caused Ephyra pain, claim the inheritance that was rightfully hers, and find out who was behind her own death. Because if there was one thing Eira knew how to do well, it was to survive—and make her enemies pay. However, being a high-schooler with nothing to her name wasn’t enough. As Ephyra, she’s powerless, but as an assassin, she’s lethal. Still, even that wasn't enough until she became the contracted wife of Lyle Aelion—a powerful, enigmatic figure in the business world with a secret illness. And it turns out, the only thing that can relieve him is her scent.

Ella_Estrella23 · Urban
4.5
164 Chs

Surprise Marriage to a Billionaire

The contract says she can’t share his bed, but nothing stops him from getting into hers… * Rain Clayton’s life takes an unexpected turn when she discovers she’s suddenly married to a billionaire named Alexander Lancaster, a powerful and dangerously captivating man who wants their marriage over before it even begins... Raised by a family that never cared for her and desperate to avoid a twisted arranged marriage, Rain seizes this unexpected twist of fate. Her new husband might be a cold-hearted billionaire, but he's her only escape. Yet Alexander demands a swift divorce. Refusing to lose her one chance at freedom, Rain strikes a risky bargain to keep their marriage alive, even if it means playing by Alexander’s rules. She just has to convince him to want her around… FOREVER. Weeks into their unexpected arrangement, Rain begins to see through Alexander’s icy exterior. But one night, she’s taken by surprise. “What are you doing?” Rain burst out, eyes wide as Alexander casually slid into her bed. “Performing husbandly duties,” he smirked. “You can’t stay here! It’s against the contract!” “I’m not breaking it,” Alexander said with a shrug. “The contract specifies that you’ll fulfill all wifely duties, excluding sharing my bed. It doesn’t say anything about me not performing husbandly duties, including sharing your bed.” The situation had shifted, and it seemed like she was no longer the only one in control... [Warning: r18+/strong mature & sexual content]

Eustoma_Reyna · Urban
4.8
432 Chs