webnovel
VamPyr00
VamPyr00Lv28mth
2024-08-20 14:34

I have to say, this is a MASSIVE improvement over the original story so far. The pacing is still very fast but at least everything is properly explained and accounted for now. Basically the largest issue with the story now is the grammar. I suggest a Beta reader and using Grammarly to iron out those issues for smoother/easier reading. The only other issues I personally have are the lackluster explanation for the new AU world background elements (vampires, werewolves, and how mutants and other elements will fit in) and the minimal character development for the so-called 'Pack'. Like seriously, the only people we actually KNOW in this fairly large 'Pack' are Laura, Selene, and now Hank and Logan. Aside from these issues, it is an interesting story and the improvement from your original story is phenomenal — keep up the good work!

Alpha in the MCU

Kakarot1809
4.4
55 Chs

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Other Reviews
GGBETTER08
GGBETTER08Lv13

So far the story telling is way better than the OG

9mth

Santy_Melay
Santy_MelayLv1

Everything was fine until you decided to trap Logan in a dimension for decades without any meaning, just because. Ufudueufufjejfigiggirknrnskoxicjffkfnkfkdieisiekrkrntngngnngkkgkgiguurieknendkfkffiieirifjrjrjfjfjrjrjrjrjrjrnkgfikeggk

7mth
DetachedDreamer
DetachedDreamerLv14

Story is good and was great to me until events started playing out exactly the same as the OG universe. but in this universe a pack of mutant werewolves have been changing history for 50 years, or at least their actions should have but they had absolutely zero change on captain America's origin story. with a little creativity you could of written the event differently at least, even with the same outcome. but no, author got lazy and suddenly the story stopped being AU until the origin of captain America is over. I get it, some events you don't want to change but not changing them after you've changed so much is just bad writing. I'm hoping this isn't going to happen for every avenger introduced. but the author wants the best of both worlds which doesn't work in real writing but when it comes to fanfics I guess we shouldn't expect such quality, so maybe im just being too critical because like I said the story is good other than the points I've stated. also they kill innocent people who find out about them but letting the govt know about them is alright. lol so much you gotta just accept.

8mth
insert_here
insert_hereLv13

This is way way better than the original [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]

8mth
K_R_A_T_U
K_R_A_T_ULv1

The story has potential to be great, just hoping the author won't drop. Though the story is entertaining, it can be more better. All The Best 🙏

8mth
Aye_itz_cloudz
Aye_itz_cloudzLv15

./\. Read it

8mth
KENZ_OO_YT
KENZ_OO_YTLv3

Its perfect novel continue [img=Feeling it][img=Feeling it][img=Feeling it][img=Feeling it][img=Feeling it][img=Feeling it][img=Feeling it][img=Feeling it][img=Feeling it][img=Feeling it][img=Feeling it][img=Feeling it][img=Feeling it]

8mth
Bloodwolf417
Bloodwolf417Lv15

the story is good and interesting looking forward to reading more

5mth
Aces223
Aces223Lv13

Really good story honestly, the character gets stronger but the enemies have the ruthlessness to actually go after and slaughter who u care about so even if u don’t worry for the mc, you’ll be worried for everyone else for sure 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

6mth
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