VamPyr00

WRITING QUALITY: 4* --I don't remember any major grammatical errors or breaks in flow. --I only took one star off due to certain dialogues being cringey. They weren't grammatically wrong; but didn't sound realistic either. STABILITY OF UPDATES: 5* --I don't really care about this much; but I'm happy that it's still ongoing. STORY DEVELOPMENT: 3* --It's a decent idea; but the execution wasn't that great imo. Hopefully it will improve going forward. --Firstly, the isekai insertion wasn't very good. There's practically no transition period for the isekai at all. He's basically just dropped in and instantly becomes a generic power progression isekai protagonist. --Secondly, the story feels too rushed. It makes certain things seem forced, like: becoming acquainted, learning from, and dating Amelia all of a sudden after 7 years of being peers; randomly becoming Flitwick's apprentice and the dueling championship; the sudden Black invitation and rushed betrothals; the suddenly created and near-instantly irrelevant United club; the Ravenclaw journal and sudden world-breaking rituals; etc.. The rushed feeling is basically constant throughout most of the story imo. It's not so bad that it's unenjoyable; but it could certainly be improved. --Lastly, the plot just doesn't seem to have much direction. It seems that things are just jumping scene to scene with no rising action or climax in sight — aside from the power progression I guess. Even worse (imo), it seems like it will likely surpass the limits of the Harry Potter world; which I personally dislike. CHARACTER DESIGN: 4* --I actually enjoyed the character interactions for the most part. The MC might be like a generic power progression isekai protagonist; but that doesn't make it bad imo — just a bit bland. --I only took off a single star here because the character designs are pretty generic and lack a certain depth. This could be improved by simply not rushing through scenes so quickly and explaining the characters' thoughts and motives better. WORLD BACKGROUND: 4* --I will practically never give 5 stars for any type of AU; so it's nothing personal. I just dislike AU and don't particularly care for the added elements to the original world of Harry Potter. --If I were to guess, this seems to be leaning towards a Marvel crossover AU (based on 'Lei Ling' and the 'Goddess of Energy') OVERALL: 4.0* --Overall, I found the story quite enjoyable; despite some obvious flaws. The biggest flaw was clearly how rushed the story is; but hopefully it will improve for future chapters. Keep up the good work!

I don't need to read it again. I perfectly understand the population dynamics of the different sections of Backlund. As I said, I've already read Lotm numerous times. As for this fanfic, the MC is making dumb threats in a gang controlled bar filled with thugs. It's been a while since I read this; but I thought that was pretty obvious.

I've read it several times now, thanks. Also, these aren't 'common people'; they're mostly gangsters and thugs from East Borough iirc. Gangsters and thugs aren't typically afraid of guns; mostly because they usually have their own.

Does that matter? I was simply making a point. Also, Dr. Gero is really evil and wouldn't care at all about 'wasting materials' lol. I don't really remember reading this story; but iirc the MC isn't nearly as evil as Dr. Gero. Plus iirc, those really WERE Dr. Gero's 17th and 18th attempts at Artificial Human creation. He actually DID make them successfully after that many attempts (iirc), unlike the MC here.

That is true; but it's my understanding that Sefirah Castle is nearly impossible to detect even among other sefirot. It just seems like this was too easy; degrading to the power and mystery of Sefirah Castle. If it was this easy to detect; someone should have discovered or taken it long ago.

I know it doesn't make them invisible. It also doesn't make them ignore the environment around them. I don't know if you've ever sat on a horse drawn carriage; but when someone steps on it, the carriage will shake quite noticeably. the only way they wouldn't notice this is if the person is extremely light — like a small child. Of course, this is based on our own carriages with old suspension systems. I suppose it's possible that this carriage could have a more advanced suspension system as well.

Sorry to say but I don't remember. it's been a while since I read this and I think I dropped it shortly after. I suggest skipping ahead a few chapters and skimming it a bit to see if it improves. Good luck though!

The form of magical travel itself is indeed called Apparition. However, when speaking about the user's former location (i.e. where they 'disappeared' from) it's called Disapparition (or Disapparating). It's only called Apparition (or Apparating) when speaking about the user's destination location (i.e. where they suddenly 'appeared'); or when speaking about the skill in general terms, not usage. Most people (yourself included it seems) tend to confuse the terms. It's easier to think of the terms 'disappear' and 'appear'; which are directly synonymous with Disapparition and Apparition, respectively. I hope this helps.

That is only true for fresh eggs — not those bought in a store. In the US, at least, store bought eggs are washed and bleached; removing the protective membrane found on freshly laid eggs — thus they must be refrigerated.