I liked the story and it has potential but there are a couple of problems. One is grammar I’m not at all an expert in grammar but I can clearly see you misspelled many words or completely forgot to write some. This makes overall writing quality horrible. You could solve this by maybe going back to read it over and make changes. Two the information dumps need to be spaced out. While it did help give an over impression of the world background. It also kind’ve made the story a little boring. Anyways I believe this story has potential and I hope you can develop its potential to the fullest
Liked it!
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