webnovel
Max_I_4248
Max_I_4248Lv16mth
2024-09-03 08:42

Looks good. But: 1) The hero is either a guy or a girl. At least "his description" that he can't decide is confusing and annoying. On the other hand, he is revealed as a guy like my slippers... A murky, unclear character. 2) The last scenes-hallucinations are described well, funny. But they feel somehow raw and useless. It seems that they lack meaning, construction.

Liked by 1 people

LIKE
Replies4
Frowfy
FrowfyAuthor

Conflicts of pronoun. The protagonist is a guy who shares a body with Wednesday. I describe the past life with he and the new life with she. Sorry for the confusion XD. And thanks for the review.

Frowfy
FrowfyAuthor

I will add an additional note in the first chapter. This probably happened because the prologue was classified as auxiliary volume and many people just skipped, but there I define the character as a man.

Max_I_4248
Max_I_4248Lv1

I understend everything. It's just that sometimes he is spoken of as a girl and sometimes as a boy. This creates dissonance. It seems that how the hero sees himself and how the author sees him differ.

Frowfy:Conflicts of pronoun. The protagonist is a guy who shares a body with Wednesday. I describe the past life with he and the new life with she. Sorry for the confusion XD. And thanks for the review.
Frowfy
FrowfyAuthor

Makes sense. Thinking back my approach to using the pronoun by the biological genre was a bit odd. If I could rewrite it now I would change it. In my next stories, I'll preserve the "he". Again, thank you for the review and feedback :3

Max_I_4248:I understend everything. It's just that sometimes he is spoken of as a girl and sometimes as a boy. This creates dissonance. It seems that how the hero sees himself and how the author sees him differ.
Other Reviews
NagiToad
NagiToadLv4

I don't know why this was recommended to me and I don't know how all I do know is that I really love how this story is going so far. Within 24 hours of reading this I have checked about 8 or 9 times to see if it had been updated. While I couldn't really connect with the prologue that well for some reason the first chapter beyond had me captivated and enthralled. The writing is great and can clearly portray what the author wanted to tell us The comedy is amazing and doesn't feel overwhelming and forced in the story like some others The idea itself is fantastic and the interactions between Tuesday and Wednesday is wonderful The chapters themselves have a nice length so they don't feel too short or too long The only flaw I can find in the story (in my opinion ) is the lack of chapters this has which I'm sure will be a non issue in the future. A few things to note 1. I haven't watched Wednesday Addams I have seen the old movie about it so I know a baseline of the family though even if you have little to no knowledge of the characters prior I'm sure you'll be able to understand them quite quickly from the author's description 2. Please do check out the Author's other fanfic about Steven universe (I'm not even a fan of SU but I enjoyed it very much) 3. If I were to truly rate this with a comment it would just be the word perfect however I know that when people are looking at reviews the 5 star reviews with little explanation on why they like it are the worst so i wanted to explain my review Sorry if there were any typos or grammatical errors as I'm writing on my phone and writing what comes to mind for this review Keep up the good work author and hopefully you can shelter all my stones as they're all going to reside here from now on

Related Stories

Kol Mikaelson-The Wild Original

After being killed by Elena and Jeremy Gilbert, Kol Mikaelson finds himself reborn in a different world—our world. Stripped of his memories, he lives as a human, free to indulge in his passions and desires, just as he always has. For 27 years, Kol thrives in this new existence, his sharp wit and natural charisma carving a path through the mundane. But when his life abruptly ends at 27, Kol awakens back in Mystic Falls, moments after the dagger is pulled from his chest. His memories of centuries as an Original vampire flood back, along with the recollection of his recent mortal life. Though he remains the same unapologetic, pleasure-seeking Kol, his time in our world has given him a fresh perspective—a modern, human lens to view the supernatural games he loves to play. Armed with this newfound understanding, Kol navigates the dangerous waters of Mystic Falls with his usual flair, seeking revenge, revelry, and perhaps a few unexpected opportunities. Unshackled by guilt or doubt, Kol lives as he pleases, but with sharper eyes and an even sharper mind, ready to take on the world—and anyone who dares cross him. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This is the rewrite I planned. I got stuck with writer's block and didn’t know how to move forward, so it turned out like that previously. Now, let’s get this show on the road! The Vampire Diaries, The Originals, and related fandoms do not belong to me. I’m always up for discussion and comments, and I always appreciate constructive criticism. U can support me at p@treon.com/LUCIFER482

ItachiWeasel · TV
Not enough ratings
33 Chs