Max_I_4248

Not so bad but the author forgot one "small" detail from the very beginning. Omnitrix is literally a space gadget that looks like a space gadget, it can't be removed or disguised. The character is not a child to take it for his toy. And the hero, as a real "genius", decided to hide it in plain sight and went to the army. The worst thing is that no one noticed it. It's also bad that the hero is a fanboy, and instead of living in the world, he seems to play a background role. Well, really, having received a second chance at life, the character, as an experienced suicide, decided to go to war, is he immortal or does he have convictions - no, he's just a "genius"(self-confident idiot). Focusing on history that you yourself change is also stupid. The only good thing is the hero's world problems. But the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

Marty Stu/Mary Sue

Not bad but not good either. There is a certain artificiality. Lack of depth, development of both characters and the plot as a whole. It would be nice if: More descriptions of the environment and more scenes to reveal the worlds and characters as a whole. Otherwise, it seems like the work is in a hurry, looking holey, awkward, poor and empty.

It would be logical that with the withdrawal of objects, people would receive many new threats in addition to benefits. Both obvious and not, and they are in theory countless.

Somehow stupid and pointless.

What do you mean?

A dry, superficial, ragged, boring story. Yes, it has some bright moments, but they are supported by nothing. The gradual growth, development, descriptions of characters are missing. There is no hint of logic. Since this is not applicable here due to the disunity of text fragments. Overall, the work looks more like a set of sketches than an independent work.

No. There is xeno technology there.

The beginning is quite strange. The DC Universe is "a little" dangerous and unpredictable, from all sides and constantly. And the hero also chose the "Speed ​​Force", which literally binds him to this trap. (Although there is almost no way out) Well, the set of powers itself looks like OP for the sake of MS. Of course, in theory, they are possible for one character. But the fact that the hero just gathered them together is not very good. Whether they work together and how well - is initially not even known. But considering that all these powers carry weaknesses (excluding kryptonite), everything is relatively fair. And by the way: It is not enough to have powers, you need to learn how to use them, and it should simply be 3 times more difficult for the hero than for the original users.)

It is unclear where the hero gets the mana to create mana stones. (Zero mana cost - okay, let's assume, but then how is the cost subtracted?) The hero's relationship with his wife is disgusting. They shackle him, although she is essentially a nobody to him, but no, he blindly submitted to circumstances. Against this background, the hero's Napoleonic plans are laughable. In general, this work looks more stupid than funny.