I'm sorry, but this is not my cup of tea. I have read up to chapter 5 and I will say that everything seems to be fine, but there is a feeling of shrinking.
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Do you have any suggestions?, i mean i need to understand what makes you feel shrinking? ,or is it that you just don't like the trope?
Well, let’s start at the beginning. 1. The starting set of desire could have been much better. 2. MC with the genealogy of the magician, you can beat in another way. For example: He studied, became stronger and entered the supernatural. Maybe a war with vampires? 3. Joining the main lineup looks dubious, but ok. Could have joined them a little later.
There is a sense of haste that makes the story cringe slightly.
Kell_Kewyo:Well, let’s start at the beginning. 1. The starting set of desire could have been much better. 2. MC with the genealogy of the magician, you can beat in another way. For example: He studied, became stronger and entered the supernatural. Maybe a war with vampires? 3. Joining the main lineup looks dubious, but ok. Could have joined them a little later.
Although the foundation looks very good, I think to refine it a little and the story will rise several levels.
Kell_Kewyo:Well, let’s start at the beginning. 1. The starting set of desire could have been much better. 2. MC with the genealogy of the magician, you can beat in another way. For example: He studied, became stronger and entered the supernatural. Maybe a war with vampires? 3. Joining the main lineup looks dubious, but ok. Could have joined them a little later.
But there is also how the author himself sees his story, if everything is okay, then I have no problem with it. I wish that everything was fine. [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
tbh , i was going to answer many questions in this chapter, but then i changed my mind, as i felt that the story was going a bit too much in the technicalities, and i wanted to give a chapter with just pure old fighting and to you know, show others a bit of his level, considering few people were doubtful about the power level of mc. So in the next chapter i will explain many things.
Kell_Kewyo:Well, let’s start at the beginning. 1. The starting set of desire could have been much better. 2. MC with the genealogy of the magician, you can beat in another way. For example: He studied, became stronger and entered the supernatural. Maybe a war with vampires? 3. Joining the main lineup looks dubious, but ok. Could have joined them a little later.
I think you should wait for the next two chapters, before you make further conclusions, as even though he had joined the main cast, you would find, that the things will happen in a lot of different ways.
Kell_Kewyo:Although the foundation looks very good, I think to refine it a little and the story will rise several levels.
Great. I will keep an eye on the development of the story for now, if everything is good then I will rewrite the review. [img=strong][img=strong][img=strong][img=strong][img=strong][img=strong][img=strong][img=strong][img=strong]
Future_Regressor_9:I think you should wait for the next two chapters, before you make further conclusions, as even though he had joined the main cast, you would find, that the things will happen in a lot of different ways.
