the story is actually impressive for a beginner but i have some questions , critiques and suggestions u said u don't like plot holes but how is the mc in the same class as rias and akeno , the mc is like 15 yrs old while rias and akeno are both 18 yrs old at the start of the series , was this a mistake or is it 3 yrs b4 canon My critique I think u should have fleshed out mc relationship with his parents better allow us to see why the mc loves them so much , so it would have hit harder when they died or as story progresses giving us flashbacks of the mc past so we can understand the mc pain better also u the fanfic pace is a little to fast u should add a little bit more dialogue btw characters and the fights are two short , the choreography isn't bad but the fight should be longer and should have a more satisfying end , try watching naruto or jjk for inspiration , also will the mc become more emotional now that he has an uchiha bloodline . Suggestions i feel u should give out more time for the mc train his abilities , also try to find away for the mc to combine abilities that he gets for example combine thunder breathing + renewal of takwendo to create a brand of high speed combat style , also can u try and flesh out the mc character more
Liked it!
LIKEalso have the mc body someone preferably a rogue devil or rogue fallen angel, hit them with the renewal of takwendo
rias and akeno are 16, they are few months older than the mc, and during the start of canon, both of them were in their 3rd year of high school. Issei haven't even gotten in high school yet. I don't know about pacing, as of right now, i am just fleshing out the mc's background and adjusting the world to his presence, nothing has happened yet literally in terms of story progression, and i won't start until i give a proper background. As for the reason of his love for parents, is because the mc rebirthed here as a resident of this world, he just got merged with his previous incarnation, kind of to get his memories but the emotions are all their too, so obviously he cares for his parents. As for fight scenes i will try my best in the future, this one was just a small spar, giving it more flare than this, was overkill in my opinion. As for training arc, my friend their are barely 9 chapters right now, atleast give me time to reach their atleast. I had a grander idea about merging techniques so you could look forward to it. Well that was all i could tell you at the moment, as this is my first work, it can't be perfect that's for sure.
ok will the parents death affect the mc future actions or there deaths won't playing any part in the story , also u didn't address the statement i made about the mc being more emotional after getting the uchiha bloodline
no, mc just got the sharingan, not the complete uchiha bloodline, with their elemental affinities and all. Though the evolution of the sharingan will follow as shown in naruto (with intense emotionl shock). As for the death of his parents, i don't remember revealing their current condition now have i?, the mc is just assuming things on most likely basis. That's all i am going to say for now.
will the mc help rias train for her battle with riser or is he just going be observer , even tho riser is implied to be an ultimate class level devil in the novel but rias still has the potential to be ultimate class devil
bro, just wait for the chapters, i can't tell you all the plot before the book no?, this is just asking for spoilers
