Read until chapter 55, nothing really happens. Auther just keeps on rambling about the future and events that play no significance to the current events. MC is your typical useless luck struck plot armor MC. Outside of making money through the stock market, which he pawned of to one of the female characters, he really doesn’t do anything important. The flow of the story is on the slow side and the events are so random that it ruins the reading experience. For the Auther. Don’t explain so much useless information. Show your story don’t tell. Show the MC having a meeting and telling each individual their goal and when they need to accomplish said goal by. In other words, you’re trying to make your MC this great leader without them showing any leadership skills. Don’t tell us why a character is going to be important or how they’re related to the MC, show us through their interactions with the MC. Example, when you had the two neighbors scene talking to his parents, don’t explain who they are. Instead just leave them until they show up in the main plot of the story. Then inform the readers using the interaction between the MC and the other characters. That’s all I’ve got for you. In summary it’s not a bad story, the author just needs to learn how to write better. An editor would help but I’m aware of how expensive that can get.
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that's a nice 👌 tip
The only problem with this tip is that, if everyone does this exact thing, it also just becomes a cliche. Having him sit in a board room and tell each person what to do and when is also boring, and wouldn’t have suddenly made the MC feel ✨alive✨. Not to mention, I feel like the way the two people in the void were introduced was way more enjoyable than leaving it purposefully blank until 10 chapters later
Literally I stopped in these chapters 56 or 57, just chapters that don't serve the story and random incidents. I would have thought about it if it was free because it's the author's first writing, but that's pure nonsense, and maid names don't help at all.
I completely agree. Author needs to move along with the story, not tell us every useless detail he thinks of just to milk money.
