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Troy145
Troy145Lv47mth
2024-06-11 01:12

no just no, you are just changing the original toneri, he never would protect the earth, even after losing to naruto he said moon will never come to earth but never said he will protect the earth, and you are making a character who doesn't care about humans in the slightest converting him into someone who cares about unknown people in a strange universe and become a cringe follower of justice league and toneri comes to the world of shinobi where basically kids are taught to kill and you are just making toneri acting friends with and saving strangers , out of character of real toneri

Toneri in DC

Fredozy
3.4
79 Chs

Liked by 47 people

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Replies4
Fredozy
FredozyAuthor

Thank you for the review

7mth
2
Troy145
Troy145Lv4

sorry for the rudeness , i apologise and it was just that I was so frustrated from all the dc fanfiction where a logical guy becomes illogical and a simp and joins the jl or young justice without any actual benefits , and i really liked toneri's lore and character in naruto , sorry for saying things rudely

Fredozy:Thank you for the review
7mth
10
Fredozy
FredozyAuthor

I totally understand you and believe me I love independent characters as well, but understand that toneri is new to that world and he needs to observe and understand this new world he’s in. But he’s not going to be bound to the Jl

Troy145:sorry for the rudeness , i apologise and it was just that I was so frustrated from all the dc fanfiction where a logical guy becomes illogical and a simp and joins the jl or young justice without any actual benefits , and i really liked toneri's lore and character in naruto , sorry for saying things rudely
7mth
2
Time_Alter
Time_AlterLv4

Fair but that the whole point of a fanfic is to add you who spin to story or character. Tho I also believe there a right and wrong way to make those changes, but I leave that up to each individual interpolation.

7mth
2
Other Reviews
ZayImmortal
ZayImmortalLv4

the writing style is like written by AI. no hard feelings man, its just what I feel

6mth

LastGod
LastGodLv5

7000 year old god. put on a team with teenagers. So heres what we can rule out. Romance. Unless author wants MC in jail. Charater development. MC has seen so much that all thier teenage drama and BS will feel stupid to him. u can also rule out any interesting NEW stories. Cause of the power and age of MC he will likely not feel at all inclined to help the team unless they are in danger of dieing. Freindship. Hes so old that these young people will have NOTHING in common with him. Even comradery will not be in this because he will be holding his powerback and his emotions will not be moved by childrens struggles. You could have put him as the mentor of the team. But as a member make ZERO sense.

6mth
Lord_Y
Lord_YLv14

I like it so far just don’t like way Batman is portrayed as overly supicous to the point it comes out as kinda stupid. I mean he is suspicious of people but he is more secretive with it, not basically telling the person who he is suspicious of

6mth
Tasha_Williams_0673
Tasha_Williams_0673Lv1

Awesome novel so far. Already added to my library collection.

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Artem_5195
Artem_5195Lv2

Please edit. Constant repetitions and AI writing style. Readable but annoying. People read to relax. Plus, the illusion works by interfering with consciousness, which can be noticed by a strong consciousness, so he used transformation to hide his eyes. And why hide? And a sage needs natural energy.

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joshua_arnoldLv14

so good 10/10 __________________________

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