Writing Quality: 5 Stars Grammar is good, very few mistakes and it's a good story in general. I like the idea of someone being from a Valyrian household and how the political structure of Old Valyria in your stories works. Overall it is a very nice story and I will keep reading it with this quality. Story Development: 4 Stars The reason why I gave it this, is because it didn't make sense how the MC, went to the Free Cities, and the North without reasoning and the timeskips and all of his relationships were rushed. There was little to no buildup. There really wasn't a cause or good transition in my personal opinion. Especially how we were randomly put into a spot where a Magister Daughter got killed and an all put war in Lys is happening. You gave us little to no context in that part and I was confuse if I was reading the same story. I feel like you need more build up in those parts and then hit us with the consequences or the significance of it. Character Design: 5 Stars It was descriptive and very nice. You were perfect in this regard. Updating Stability: 5 Stars Good updates so far from what I've seen. World Background: 5 Stars Very descriptive on the world and how everything worked in the world of ASOIAF, keep doing what you are doing with this part. Conclusion: Good story overall, just work on your transition and it'll be perfect.
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Fair enough. My story is just that, random ideas mixed together to create somewhat of a plot. Not gonna lie, I just went with the flow and wanted the MC to see the world a bit and form his own opinions before he eventually has to lead his house. And the North? He was interested in the magic and wanted to see the Wall for himself. I am repeating myself for the 1000th time, but like I said before, when I wrote this just for me I just didn't need to explain every reasoning and thought process. But I will try to work on that Thx
