webnovel
angel_2771
angel_2771Lv37mth
2024-05-20 00:38

Hello, I read the story and I must say it's good, but there are some things I don't like.An example would be writing,Sometimes it is difficult to read, for example, the third person, sometimes during the narration Oscar suddenly says something in the middle of the narration, and that is a bit confusing,What I want to suggest is at least if you want the character to speak with his name and then a colon so as not to confuse , example: Oscar: oh no, Beacon is going to fall, I have to avoid it. It is also better that you end the narration so that the character can speak, not that in the middle of the narration the character says something and continues the narration as if no one had spoken. Well, this is all the problem I had. Thank you for reading. I'm sorry if my English is bad.

RWBY: Oscar the gamer

The_Ninja_king9138
Not enough ratings
22 Chs

Liked by 4 people

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Replies2
The_Ninja_king9138
The_Ninja_king9138Author

thank you for your review i will be doing that from now, also your English is good.

7mth
1
angel_2771
angel_2771Lv3

Thank you :)

The_Ninja_king9138:thank you for your review i will be doing that from now, also your English is good.
7mth
1
Other Reviews
Daoist369280
Daoist369280Lv1

One question, if this is a rewrite of the previous version, does it mean that you will make several changes to it because if so, I'm looking forward to it in another note since you made a story giving Oscar the lead role instead of the usual thing, which would be to use Jaune or ruby otaught that in the future you could do a husttia using whitley to see how you get on developing the skills of the youngest of the schnne otthought you could make it more strategic or combine the glyphs with a fighting style that allows him to use a gun and sword like Nero from DMC(Devil May Cry) What do you think of the idea?

12d

VictorElderblood
VictorElderbloodLv12

it's looking good so far so keep up the amazing work

11d
Tasma_Yeasmin
Tasma_YeasminLv1

This is a fun read and a fun story, so far i have enjoyed it very much, would have been 5 star if not for the First 4 Ch, Other wishes this is a good and enjoyable story, So people don't Judge it by the first 4 Ch

12d
mc_broz
mc_brozLv4

So what do I think of the story? it not bad but it dose need work. The story in it self is good, good pacing maybe a bit slow but that’s not a bad thing. Over all it is a good read

12d
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