"I'm starting this fic now. Lately, I've been interested in fanfics set in the 1940s, but I have to say I expected something different. I haven't read it all, just the beginning, but the author was unfortunate in the first part. The MC was a gangster leader and has a personality like that??? I expected a tough MC from the start, and I think everyone who read it did too; it was the obvious thing to do. But instead, we see an MC who's somewhat childish and aimless. If you had made the MC a regular citizen in his previous life, it would have been much easier to explain his personality. But we're talking about a gangster, for God's sake. The guy should have seen his share of deaths and had an objective to follow as soon as he reincarnated. But in the first chapters, he and his supposed friend are watching a young girl secretly dance ballet. That's teenage movie stuff. And another thing I found really bad was the supposed help he received from the policeman. Seriously, the MC asked the policeman to light a cigarette and the policeman introduces him to the Don???? What is this, author? You could have done better. You could have had the policeman see Adam's wounds and feel sorry for him, but what you did was very forced. First of all, anyone who has contact with the Don could never introduce someone they don't know because if the MC caused any problem for the family, the policeman who introduced him would be blamed. So no one in their right mind would do that. We're talking about a mafia family here; is it that easy to get in touch with them??? And why would the Don help the MC??? From his perspective, a 16-year-old teenager wouldn't add anything to the family. What favor could he do for the Don? I'm not trying to discourage you, author. I know it's difficult to write fics, but as a reader, I have to point out the obvious so you can see where you're going wrong and improve. The fic isn't bad; the grammar is good, the pacing is nice… I'll keep reading, and I'll give my final opinion in this review later."
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