webnovel
Cesar117
Cesar117Lv210mth
2024-06-25 13:32

Una muy buena historia. Es interesante y la inclusión de teorías locas de la alquimia es divertidísima. Lo único que le falta es crear un cuerpo para draig o jugar con su alma.

Liked by 1 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
Reddsaint
ReddsaintLv14

Everything Sir Squirrel said was perfectly accurate, the decisions made seem flippant at best and the development of his power manages to seem both unearned and lackluster simultaneously. The problem begins at the very beginning. We are given the illusion that his system-like Sacred Gear offers the choice between certain class sets. This is a mistake because any choice the MC could've made would be met with skepticism from people who wanted something different. But the author made the MC choose the worst possible class, a production class that would put him at the mercy of whoever decides to fund his operation and give him little combat potential returns compared to other ones hypothetically. Now, this could be a moot point for a couple reasons. The author plans on giving the Boosted Gear to the MC. That would eliminate the need for combat potential from a different class. There are also 'permanent boost elixirs' he has already introduced. A roundabout way but still a solid one. But there are other methods to have done this without the disappointing illusion of choice and the odd, undeserved shoehorning of the FMA style alchemy powers. Exhibit A: A Sacred Gear that simply gives him the powers of the world of FMA. The MC would be forced to learn and explore the world he was dropped into from a magi-scientific standpoint in order to shape it accurately, which would be interesting in itself. Being an amped FMA alchemist would allow limitless avenues to transmute himself, increase his combat potential and "spell" arsenal, and create alchemical enhancers, especially the Philosopher's Stone. Exhibit B: Reincarnate a character from FMA:B instead of a random teen. Exhibit C: Make him choose Mage instead and put enchanting and potion brewing as part of that system. Now, I could've handled all the fumbling so far as long as the story is entertaining and the MC rises to the occasion consistently despite this. But the worst part of this story for me is: Slow updates, and SHORT, SHORT chapters. I'm talking barely over a thousand words. Now this is a new story, so there are only 16 chapters to work with right now. But by God, I'm predicting right now that he won't wrap up with Riser's arc until between chapter 30 or 40, and based on that, I'm not sure if I want to stick around for that kind of chapter length.

Daoist4MxvaV
Daoist4MxvaVLv14

the novel isn't bad , but it isn't for me ,if u are into psychopaths this fanfic is for u ,Personally i don't hate psychopaths characters but its always better to have context to why a character is evil or morally grey or at least show us the journey of why the mc ended up that way or give us interesting motivations to hold on to , having someone who is evil or bad just bc , is very boring and uninteresting , I Would have appreciated it more if there was someone who thinks on the same level and wave length of the mc as the mc rival to keep things interesting or have the mc run into or face a stray devil to add some excitement , this kind of mc of this fanfic only works for antagonists bc antagonists dont get that much screen time and it adds mystery compared to the mc , also the MC is corny , the mc is only a character an edgy teenager , psychopath , sociopath or someone whose life is too boring would enjoy, the mc isn't even relatable unless u find being a psychopath relatable . Compared others I have read this fanfic is pretty lukewarm it brings no excitement or interest , it just feels like the author reduced the iq of all the other characters to make the mc seem more intelligent than he is , it just feels like a chore to read . My advice to the author if u want to right an overly selfish mc , give more screen time to the side characters to show how the mc actions affect others around him . I would have given the mc greater and interesting goal(note I just want to survive isnt an interesting goal ) and added someone who could have given the mc a challenge to make things interesting bc I doubt u can make good fights

NEETsemsalvasao
NEETsemsalvasaoLv4
Related Stories

Endless Path : Infinite Cosmos

Vahn was an atypical youth. Due to a rare mutation, his blood had the potential to target and attack ailments within the human body. Touted as a universal cure, people had elevated his status above the norm and given him the classification "Panacea". In the media, he was hailed as a great hero who would usher in a new era or human wellness. However, behind the scenes things weren't so bright. Being a unique individual, Vahn spent his entire youth locked up in a lab with various scientists and research teams using his body and blood to perform endless amounts of experiments. The only solace in his suffering was the various anime and manga made available to him between experiments. He often imagined himself as the protagonist in a world of his own, finally in control of his own destiny. For years he nurtured this desire, until at the age of 14 he died when an organization had tried to kidnap him from the lab... "Finally, I don't have to suffer anymore..." This was Vahn's last thought as he faded into the endless black abyss... "You poor soul." Author's Note: If you would like to support the author and the team behind EPIC and future projects, feel free to check out libraryofakasha.com. There, you can find extra chapters and several other novels posted by myself and a few people from Discord. Cover by Sinlaire, Edited by Frozen: https://www.deviantart.com/sinlaire https://discord.gg/Jwa8PKh New Patreon~! https://www.patreon.com/user?u=14397149 This is a work of fiction that draws heavily upon the original source material of Danmachi. Please support the official release and know I claim no ownership or credit regarding the existence of pre-existing characters or content.

Einlion · Anime & Comics
4.8
2365 Chs

One Piece - I Am A Different Luffy!

He is Monkey D. Luffy, but not the original Monkey D. Luffy, because in this world, that one is Lucy, his blood sister, while he had a peaceful childhood with his other three brothers. They all ended up following different paths since he didn’t have his memories. It was only when he entered a barrel lost at sea to save himself that he finally began to regain all the knowledge he had of this world from his past life. On top of that, he realized he could use this knowledge to his advantage to acquire everything he needed on his adventure. He was given four chances to summon people to start his journey, and more importantly, he finally received his two devil fruits, becoming powerful from the very beginning, with a plan that stretched to the end of his adventure. This story is the adventure of a man called Monkey D. Luffy, with the goal of becoming the emperor of all the seas in the world. For that, he will find the One Piece and destroy the World Government, for they cannot coexist. Be it the Marines, government agents, CP units, Tenryuubito, Holy Knights, Gorosei, or Im, Luffy will walk over a mountain of corpses. “I want you in my crew. Together, we will change the whole world and turn it upside down.” “Hahaha. Don’t worry, I believe in your potential, that's why I want you in my crew.” “My swordsman already fought you and lost. Now let’s see the strength of the world’s greatest swordsman too, right, Yamato? I hope you don’t mind fighting two rookies at once...?” “Awaken... Awaken my power... and destroy all your enemies...” “It’s good to see you after so long, Grandpa... and you, sister.” “Monkey D.? The most dangerous family in the world!” “Isn’t it a beautiful scene? Two Shichibukai and a Vice Admiral as my trophies! Come on, take a good picture and put it on tomorrow’s newspaper cover!” “I declare this kingdom my territory!” “Enel, you’re nothing but an idiot with a god complex. If you’re a god... then I’m a god slayer.” “As you said, Teach, people’s dreams never end! And if people’s dreams never end, why should I stop?” “Doflamingo... Jake... you’re so far from home. I hope you don’t regret this.” "You narcissistic woman, how can someone be so annoying and arrogant?" "What did you say, you damned man?!" "I now declare you husband and wife." "It's time to return to the Blue Sea, after all, we have a world to shake." "CP9? What a disappointment, Sengoku. I want money for them and Doflamingo... I want 2 billion berries at Enies Lobby in a few days." "Enies Lobby was completely destroyed...?" "I've fought Mihawk, Jimbei, Crocodile, Doflamingo, Hancock, and Moria... you're the only one left, Kuma..." "It seems we've finally met, Rayleigh..." "Let's invade Impel Down!" "I came here to find you, sister, it's time for you to join my crew... Joygirl..." "It looks like we've finally arrived at the war." "Sengoku... you tried to arm yourself to execute my brother, so I'll make an example of this Tenryuubito for the whole world." "You can't do this...!" *BANG!* "He actually did it, that bastard...." "Your chains are loose, move your ass and get out of Marineford!!" "Saturn!!! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!" "I couldn't kill you last time, Akainu... but I'll make sure to do it now." "Destroy the rest of Marineford." "Let's get out of here. When you return, you'll take over this country for your family, Rebecca." "No matter if we're on opposite sides... I will always love you, grandpa." "It's time to start our training." "Let's begin. Now, let's head to the New World, capture territories, and grow our fleet." "Is the entire Straw Hat fleet ready? Now let's head to Wano, after all, we have a war against two Yonkou!" -------------------------------------------- This Fanfic's Schedule for the week, updates on: Monday, Thursday, and Saturday. ----------------------------------------------

RaccoonLeague · Anime & Comics
4.8
493 Chs

As Sukuna in Invincible

The Honoured One... A title bestowed upon the one who's pleasure and displeasure matter above all else within the bounds of Heaven and Earth. That is who I have become. Satoru Gojo - The Six Eyes may have claimed this title for himself, declared it to all of Creation and went unchallenged for it for years, till the awakening of the man I have been transmigrated as. I intend to honour that title. Power is meant to be used - to change one's life with. And change it I shall. ---------------------------- (Author note: This guy will be a lot like Sukuna in personality, but not a carbon copy - he will have his own views and thoughts that will contradict canon Sukuna, cause this guy is a transmigrated soul from our world who was thrown into the Invincible world with all of Sukuna's powers. Also, he was geniunely Sukuna in his past life. Romance: Sukuna X Yandere Eve Sukuna is in the body of Megumi (Shadows yet to be tamed) to be as clear as possible :A person from our world, reincarnated as Sukuna in JJK without his memories and then before the fight with Gojo disappeared and reincarnated in Invincible as a guy funnily with the name Megumi Fushiguro and recently remembered all his 3 lives. his memory is a bit convoluted in the beginning that's why he thinks its transmigration. Read the auxiliary chapter for Sukuna's power level compared to this world, because I am taking some vague statements about Sukuna in JJK canon, to make him strong enough to not just be crushed in an instant in a world with Viltrumites. Hope to see you guys soon, Bye!)

Samael_Son_of_Dawn · Anime & Comics
4.4
82 Chs