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UnknownMonkey
UnknownMonkeyLv38mth
2024-03-25 03:47

I don't usually write a review for fanfics but I have to write one with this fanfic to warn you people not to read this or they will experience brain rot. I will be completely honest with you this story is not well written and has many plot holes first the timeline does not make sense the Uchiha massacre should have happened when the MC was seven but it didn't Mc hasn't even entered the academy yet. Second, she's on team seven now that wouldn't be a problem if the team excluded someone from the og team seven but no the author decided to put MC on a four-man team with Naruto Sasuke, and Sakura. The worst part about this is that it could be completely avoided by giving Mc a private teacher that could have been a Huyga. I known its some authors might not want to create an oc but the author could have gotten Mc a private teacher that isn't an oc an example is Anko but no we got mc on a four man. The last problem with this story is that it feels like the author did not research anything about Naruto.

Hinoka Hyuga

Nen_pin
Not enough ratings
42 Chs

Liked by 5 people

LIKE
Replies4
Nen_pin
Nen_pinAuthor

Thanks for your review I'll try to improve.

8mth
UnknownMonkey
UnknownMonkeyLv3

pls do

8mth
1
Mann_Teufortian
Mann_TeufortianLv4

I just got hit by a triple combo of cringe, incorrect lore, and dialogue written like a movie/theater script

8mth
1
SpaceKatss
SpaceKatssLv1

Thank you

7mth
Other Reviews
Meeks
MeeksLv13

Hinoka feels so detached from the story, like everything is easy. Bam bam bam, she feels just like a sideliner. There is no emotion to thiss

5mth

HotWetDream
HotWetDreamLv13

no plot to the story no original ideas you can do better

7mth
Left_Nut_Of_Madara
Left_Nut_Of_MadaraLv13

For me this is more of a fantasy than a story so its just not my thing but grammer is kinda ok so its readable at least[img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp]

9mth
Arc_Dragon
Arc_DragonLv11

Reveal spoiler

6mth
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