webnovel
The_Golden_Age_
The_Golden_Age_Lv46mth
2024-07-16 14:11

ALL BASED ON MY OPINION if you don't agree that's you. Writing Quality -The writing is similar to that of translated novels. It makes the story feel slow and the pacing dragged on sometimes even boring. I find myself skipping paragraphs that don't involve the MC or something that has to do with the side quest. At times I find myself feeling like dropping the story because of the writing but I want to know more of what happens so I stay 😥.If the author got their writing inspiration from translated novels it's understandable but I'd recommend that you to practice your writing and study other writing styles from different authors in no way am I trying to bash the author in any form. I just feel like if he improved his writing it would make a huge difference. Maybe get an editor too if it helps👀 Also the dialogue feels awkward sometimes. Story development-👀 The arcs have been interesting so far but like I said if the writing was better I'd actually have enjoyed them a lot. My favourite arcs by far were the acting arc and the prison one. The other arcs for me felt a little boring and dragged on for too long for my liking but I think it'll get interesting especially with the introduction of the other emotive mage and the gods of the world let me not forget the memory of him entering Delilah's memory. What can I say I really like lore especially when it's well written. I hope I'm not disappointed. Character design-🙂 I'll start with our MC he's an interesting character and feels complex but... #Leon og mc😑- In my opinion out of the entire main cast I feel like he's the most well written character so far and at times even better then Julian. I feel like he has a lot of potential in the future and he's actually my favourite. #Aoite😐- She at first for me felt like a copy of the fml from tapov but with a bit more pride. I like her character but I don't like how the author writes her. I can see the vision but she feels like all the fml characters I've seen in every novel/anime and manga I've read...I guess I just wanted her to be unique all on her own. In simple terms her character doesn't feel solid. #Kiera😒- Probably why I actually like her character design. Her character is actually solid. Hate her or like her but she's well written and has so much potential for future arcs especially with the secret Julian is keeping from her. She's my second favourite character. She just feels so solid with nothing missing. #Delilah🫥🤖- She also feels like all the other fml characters I've read about with the only thing making her different being her love for chocolate. I honestly feel like the fm teachers in tapov were way better written then her because they had more character and where solid individuals. Meanwhile Delilah feels like a robot that likes chocolate ...at most times. Her internal monologue is not bad because u can tell she's actually a childish person especially with her back story which makes sense but to give her a childish form 🙆😭I didn't agree with that writing choice at all but there must be a reason you did that 🙂‍↔️😭. I just felt like she could have been more you know, but maybe in the future she will be. But with that said she's my second fav fm character. #Evenly🧍-I'll be honest I didn't like her when she was introduced and I still don't like her now but my dislike for her has decreased. But like someone said she's basically an NPC now and she's 1D that's all. She's 1D and the worst written character so especially if she has an important role she'll play in the future. #Atlas🤗👹- Solid character. I've seen very little of him and he's a way better written character than Delilah so far and he's arguably becoming my favorite just because of how well written he feels. I recommend HOW TO WRITE FANTASY CHARACTER ARCS BETTER THAN 99% OF AUTHORS by Jed Herne on YouTube too. Well written fml characters from books I've read so far are the poppy war, red rising, shadow slave, Percy Jackson I forgot the rest but you can study how they are written if you want. Brandon Sanderson too according to my friends I've yet to read the mistbone series. Let's also not forget Avatar toph, Katara, Azula, Ty Lee etc has a large cast of fml characters that you could study. Updating stability -Not bad. World building-I love world building it's my favourite genre after found family. I'm rating this on the places we've been so far. Academy- ⭐⭐⭐⭐ not my favourite place to be but it feels like a safe haven for our cast since it's the only place that hasn't caused them any trauma. I hope it gets destroyed 👍 Prison arc- ⭐⭐⭐⭐ I honestly loved this one. It was small but the arc was enjoyable especially with how it ended. Author I can't wait until Julian is hated 🙂‍↕️ The acting arc- ⭐⭐⭐ Also my favourite arc especially with how Julien was written, but it didn't do a lot of world building. Can't wait until he loses control but this time make it longer I love how you're giving us hints that he's going to lose it.And I don't for one second believe that Julien found himself it was too easy especially with the hell he'll have to face. Necromancer arc-⭐⭐⭐It was in a different city which I liked but the world building for me felt separate from the story. Mirror arc- ⭐⭐⭐ I feel like you could have done so much more and explored more of the mirror dimension but I'll understand that it's only because you have the exploration saved up for later. Dora the explorer who??? It's Julian the explorer now. Anyway this was my least fav arc but hey we got owl mighty so there's that ....🙂‍↔️😭 Priest arc- ⭐⭐ I hated this arc because why did Julien have to lose his memory 😾 I was shaking in my boots praying that no one finds out that he's a fraud 😩😥 Author I was sweating and it also felt unnecessary maybe it'll be explained in the future but for now 🙂‍↔️ Anyway this is my rating after chap 243. I'll come back for later chapters 🐱✌️ and see if my rating has changed.

Liked by 11 people

LIKE
Replies3
Entrail_JI
Entrail_JIAuthor

Okay, thank you for the feedback. I take everything by heart so I will work on my writing and take notes on the things that you have pointed out. It'll take time, but I will work.

Void114
Void114Lv4

well that was him but I gotta say Author , you have improved a lot since when I saw your writing at start of APOV and it's actually very fascinating to read and is giving a vibe of mystery for this novel keep going good luck to the better tomorrow and a nice today, Thanks for this amazing novel.

Entrail_JI:Okay, thank you for the feedback. I take everything by heart so I will work on my writing and take notes on the things that you have pointed out. It'll take time, but I will work.
image
6_Kartik_Rawat_9
6_Kartik_Rawat_9Lv1

I don't know about other novels that you mentioned but Author here wrote better female characters than Shadow slave. Effie is just annoying.

Other Reviews
Apolonchene06
Apolonchene06Lv5
Deadly_Healer
Deadly_HealerLv13

There are not a lot of stories these days that can hook you since start. Good stories have become rare these days. But here I am hooked since prologue. I love the theme of novel which is mainly focused on emotions so I know for sure that it's gonna be a thrilling and blood pumping roller coaster of emotions. MC feels a like person and most importantly human, a real living HUMAN like all of us. He isn't someone who was like. "Oh I died but nah I got transmigrated so like all other Mcs my job should be avoid bad ending and og protagonist and go my way by avoiding death at costs as well as making a lot of strong connection all the way." He behaves how anyone of us could have behaved.He goes through all phases of regret, denial, reluctance, partial acceptance. He doesn't wanna live there he wanna go home where his little brother is. He loves him more than anything even more than himself. So another merit is, he isn't a cold blooded murderer but a sane and principled person. I also love the duality of his character He is mentally broken and sane at the same time. He has suffered by a lot of negative emotions in his past life and is mentally vulnerable but at the same time that's his strongest trait. He is mentally strong because he has already been exposed to all kinds of negativities to extreme. Every chapter is like he is walking on a thin line between sanity and insanity no one knows when and where will he trip. Whether he will loose himself in dark abyss or will be king of its king is still a mystery? So if you wanna know 😜 do give this a try.

DryImagination
DryImaginationLv4
Related Stories

Weakest Beast Tamer Gets All SSS Dragons

"Dragons rule the skies, the land, and the seas... humanity survives in the cracks, dreaming of a comeback." _______ Power comes from the beast you tame in this world, and you need to do it at the tender age of ten. Wolves, hawks, snakes, spiders, the stronger your summon, the brighter your future. Too bad for our protagonist. When everyone else summoned salamanders, eagles, or tigers, he got… Well, let’s just say the only thing lower on the food chain is dirt. Laughed at, bullied, and living as the butt of every joke, he’s not exactly winning. But giving up isn’t an option, his aging parents sold everything for his chance, and he won’t let it be for nothing. But hey, this is his story. The weakest beast tamer? Here’s the thing about being at the bottom: it teaches you how to climb. And dragons? The apex predators? Turns out they start small too, so... He’s going to tame everything, every evolutionary line. How? Turns out, his summon isn’t useless after all. Step one: survive long enough to unlock his gift. Step two: tame creatures nobody else dares to touch. Step three: become the strongest tamer the world has ever seen and laugh in the face of those who doubted him. As kingdoms crumble under greed and external threats, the weakest tamer begins his rise. Because in this world, strength isn’t just about the creature you summon; it’s about the bond you forge, the risks you take, and the will to rise when the world drags you down. Follow his path as he unlocks a potential so rare, so terrifying, it leads to dragons… Even better, every evolutionary line leads to the strongest ‘SSS Dragons’. _______ Warning: Contains world-ending dragons, questionable life choices, ridicule-fueled underdog revenge, dragon-scaled protagonist, morally questionable nobles, insane creature evolutions, over-the-top power fantasy, and enough twists to make you wonder if weakest really means luckiest. A MC who’s out to prove everyone wrong… even if it kills him. Spoiler alert: It won’t. For those who love an underdog, an over-the-top power fantasy, and a whole lot of fun, this one’s for you. If you’re looking for a more serious or a bit grim-dark story, look somewhere else (Maybe Utopian System (;) This one’s about having fun, taming dragons and expectations. _______ If you want to know more about the cover: Yep, that's Luna... Her skin and clothes morphing into shimmering scales from her dragon power. Remember Sailor Moon? Magical girls? Now imagine if the magical outfit wasn’t a cute dress, but an actual dragon! The dragon is the dress! Oh, and don’t miss the cool horns. It’s not just fashion; it’s fusion. High-level beasts tend to leave their mark, and Luna wears it like a boss, pulling off the ultimate power move. We will use the same Discord from Utopian, come join! https://discord.gg/W3CjfC2cw4 _______ Silly tags that seem to matter a lot to some readers: No Yaoi, No Yuri, Possibly Harem (Vote! I can write either, and in any case, there will be multiple girls. The only difference is whether he chooses one in the end or goes the "liberal" route.... democracy is yours!), No NTR.

Dagzo · Fantasy
4.8
156 Chs

Re: Evolution Online

On just another normal Monday, a new virtual reality game called "Evolution Online" launched out of nowhere and took the world by storm. People were blown away by the game’s hyper-realistic features and endless adventures. Everyone from small companies to big corporations and governments scrambled to get a foothold on this mysterious video game. But what they didn't know was that this game was actually a tutorial for the upcoming apocalypse that was about to hit the planet! The game was a precursor to the Earth's first evolution, where mana was going to be unleashed into the real world! Liam, a high school student who had faced numerous setbacks in his life, turned to 'Evolution Online' in the hope of changing his fate, but instead, he got trapped in the game's twisted world, and things went from bad to worse. When the apocalypse finally arrived, Liam barely managed to escape, but his situation didn't improve. Along with millions of others, he died a miserable death, unable to fight back and filled with regret. However, Liam's story didn't end there. He found himself inexplicably transported back in time before everything started! Armed with the knowledge of what was to come, Liam was determined to become the strongest and most powerful player, unleashing destruction upon the world that had ruined him before! This time, things were going to be different! ******************* Discord Link for chatting with author and character art https://discord.gg/XS7gWScKn8

Yolohy · Fantasy
4.8
1383 Chs