webnovel
Jackleell
JackleellLv11yr
2024-01-12 18:29

I have mixed feelings about the character and the narrative structure. The protagonist often comes across as overly reliant on the system granted to her, which diminishes her independence and personal growth. Her lack of initiative in boosting her intelligence and delving deeper into sciences or other areas of knowledge is a bit disappointing. This over-reliance on the system doesn't allow her character to fully explore her potential or develop self-reliance, which could have added more depth to her journey. Moreover, there's a notable lack of clarity regarding the entity that bestowed her powers. Understanding the entity's motives and the broader implications of these powers would add a much-needed layer of intrigue and complexity to the story. The origins and goals of this entity remain a mystery, which can be intriguing but also a bit frustrating from a narrative perspective. I would suggest an interesting plot development where the system develops its own separate entity, potentially even being removed from the protagonist's body. This could open up avenues for exploring themes like the consequences of power and the moral dilemmas of using such abilities. It could also lead to a deeper understanding of the 'Reality Bender' concept, perhaps hinting at the entity's enjoyment in manipulating or even destroying realities. Such a development could be an excellent opportunity for foreshadowing and adding a rich layer of suspense and complexity to the story. anyways i still enjoy this story.

Reality Bender System, Marvel

Alex_Simmonds
4.6
397 Chs

Liked by 4 people

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Replies1
Alex_Simmonds
Alex_SimmondsAuthor

Thanks for the review! With regards to the entity behind the system, i do have a plan to introduce some more intrigue related to him, i may have even started sprinkling some random things in to give some clues to this... As for the over reliance on the system, well its mainly due to the fact that she hasn't really had time to stop and collect herself, she had been going from one situation to another with only a day or so in between each to fully relax and start comprehending her own situation fully. I appreciate the review, i love even the negative ones because it just means that I am at least giving people something to do! -Sincerely Alex

1yr
3
Other Reviews
Alex_Simmonds
Alex_SimmondsAuthor

Shameless Author review! Anyway, this is my first time writing a fan-fiction and i hope you all enjoy it. I plan to have fantasy, sci-fi and other elements scattered throughout the story and plan to have romance in there as well (It will be a Yuri). Please feel free to leave comments, i love them, have a good day/night.

1yr

DaoistyhmT6N
DaoistyhmT6NLv4

looks great so far! the mc is cool story is nice abd the system is kind of unique

1yr
Wizardlyllc
WizardlyllcLv14

nah it not stail it actually pretty great story😁 so so pretty please continue your amazing work author🥺 ps. and don't let no one read this part I might get hate mail for this but I have say this author I like story but you need get some rest maybe a few days or a week. it can't be writing new characters everyday you need sleep.

1yr
BigBud
BigBudLv4

Pretty decent OP MC with system story so far. MC seems to lack all critical thinking skills and is unable to do basic tasks without advice from her system. MC is also quite a fangirl for the other characters, but that is understandable, you would be lying if you said you wouldn’t be in awe upon seeing the real life Harry Potter. Other than the MC’s lack of backbone it’s pretty well written and not too nonsensical so far

1yr
DarkAce_Ghosts
DarkAce_GhostsLv12

Reveal spoiler

1yr
Fu_Hua_
Fu_Hua_Lv4

I haven't yet finished reading every chapters but I have to say though the Fangirling Mc is just ruining this for me and it's getting harder for me to continue reading cause my enthusiasm is slowly crumbling.BUT even though I don't like the MC's personality in the earlier chapters I'll continue to read hoping her Fangirling will tone down eventually.Anyways, here's my 5 stars

1yr
Naruto_Tiny
Naruto_TinyLv4

More, please!

1yr
JustAReaders
JustAReadersLv4

Reveal spoiler

1yr
Leon_Joseph
Leon_JosephLv1

Reveal spoiler

1yr
Patrick_hell123
Patrick_hell123Lv15

you are getting better and better at writing

1yr
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