I like it. It’s a story about Harry that gets a technology system with an ai that guides him. The writing quality is good. I can’t see any grammatical or vocabular errors. The only negative thing I have to say is that I think you are overdoing it with the ai Nigel. Every four paragraphs there is Nigel giving advice with a metaphor or a reference. And I like that but you do it a bit too much. I don’t need half a chapter of the AI saying that the mind is like a puzzle or that manipulation is all about subtlety. So I recommend doing it just a bit less.
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