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DevilOnUrShoulder
DevilOnUrShoulderLv141yr
2024-02-28 10:09

So I didn't get very far because of the clunky and for lack of better term artificial dialogue as an example to potential readers all conversation are like this Sico"did you say something Jenny" Jenny"no, I've haven't made a peep" sico "I swear I heard something" the author claims it gets better but I checked up to chapter 70 and it's still in this script format and to the author when someone says artificial dialogue they mean they style not the content e.g "Did you say something Jenny" sico whispered. "no" came her crisp reply. Would be how one expects to read dialogue Other than that it's a good story sorry I couldn't stick around I do love fallout

Fallout 4: Rebirth At Vault 81

Tang12
3.8
534 Chs

Liked by 9 people

LIKE
Replies1
Tang12
Tang12Author

I see thanks for the comments, I will see how to change it and since I also have chapters on my patreon when the changes was implemented I hope for the patience!

1yr
1
Other Reviews
Bridallist7645
Bridallist7645Lv4

My biggest problem with this story is that all the dialog feels robotic and un human.second problem is that the mc(mc's name is sico) system is weak 😔 to such a degree that It makes him weaker then a normal person in gaining stats and he stated with 7 intelligence he should level up way more and gain stats way more.

1yr

Valkorion_2003
Valkorion_2003Lv12

I really wanted to like this story. It's exactly the type of story I was looking for, or so I thought. The writing/translation is awful. It's nearly impossible to read. The characters are... incredibly unrelatable and story itself is super hard to follow. And I mean I like wish-fulfillment, sometimes it makes a great -relaxing- read, but this is too much. No one questions anything, the dialogue is so contrived and forced that it pains me to read it. Just... super disappointed. And before anyone says it gets better or something, I made it to chapter twenty. That's far enough I think. Nothing had improved by then

11mth
UberNuber
UberNuberLv12

Terrible dialogue, terrible sentence structure, the author skips over important details simply because he/she forgets. Introduces a system but ignores it… then why even introduce it.

1yr
Spamifico
SpamificoLv13

You don’t need to put the name of the speaker in front of every phrase ._. It makes it unreadable

12mth
DeathGun24
DeathGun24Lv5

Just because this was a fallout novel and fallout is my all time favorite game. So i hope you doesn't drop this one author even though i know there was no chance you to drop it

1yr
Dark_PersonJJ
Dark_PersonJJLv4

Hello Tang12 as a fan of your writing i will support this story, I can not wait to see what you can do with such World like Fallout.

1yr
HellDaoist12
HellDaoist12Lv2

Since it was Tang12 who made it, I believe it would be a great piece of work just like his other work! The world-building is definitely already perfect as it was based on Fallout 4, for other things I can't see but I believe it would be great! Keep up the spirit author!

1yr
Queen_Karina
Queen_KarinaLv14

The dialogue is extremely robotic and unsatisfying, besides that everything else is fine. Really hope the author can learn from other authors dialogue and improve

1yr
Santy_Melay
Santy_MelayLv1

I'm going to chapter 20 For starters, it seems like the author forgot that Mc had learned beginner hand-to-hand combat, since it's not added in his state. The dialogue system is horrible, it is the worst thing you can use since you avoid showing the characters' expressions when speaking. Things happen too fast for my liking, plus you're going to tell me that you couldn't find skill magazines in all this time.

1yr
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