webnovel
Sean_Morabito
Sean_MorabitoLv141yr
2023-11-22 22:08

It's quite good my man, especially for a new writer! But it can get all over the place with him sometimes being too overpowered, then you nerf him by having the system take the overpowered units away. Shouldn't have included them in the first place if that's the case and name-changing on main characters is confusing but other than that good job.

Star Wars: The Yautja

ForestOfDarkness
4.3
110 Chs

Liked by 2 people

LIKE
Replies1
Sean_Morabito
Sean_MorabitoLv14

P.S 5 Stars for the dedication of the torturous writing on a mobile phone for a week.

1yr
2
Other Reviews
Sagvey_Ay
Sagvey_AyLv2

the best advice I can give to new writers like you is to set yourself a specific goal, for example. 1 new episode per week one new episode for every 100 power stones (if the story hits a dead end or things don't go the way you want, make sure you time jump directly and finish the story, it will be appreciated more than an unfinished story

1yr

Danule
DanuleLv15

I've been reading on this platform for over a decade now. I normally get tired of kingdom building because it gets repetitive pretty fast. however this is the BEST kingdom building fanfic I have ever read 10/10 must read if you enjoy fanfics

1yr
Daoist_Dan
Daoist_DanLv10

A fun Star Wars story that more or less squinted at the Yautja part. The kingdom-building tag is the most important one and his system helps him out. It's worth a read. Slight spoiler. My one real criticism would be how out of character the first encounter with the Nightsisters and Jedi was. They seemed to show up just to ask a question and not care at all about what he would be doing. You know, for something the entire universe felt.

1yr
DotComplex
DotComplexLv3

10/10. No joke. I don't give that lightly, yet this one deserves it. The fact that something so good, that would be one of the top fanfics even on fanfiction.net or ao3, still isn't even in the top 5 blows my mind. We gotta get this higher.

1yr
Godymandias
GodymandiasLv4

As of Chapter 29.WQ: 2 - Not quite MTL but definitely not good.SD: 3 - Adequate but not good.CD: 1 - Wet Cardboard Boxes is the best way i could describe the characters. The MC is forgettable, The Side Characters are Forgettable, the author appears to try and give everything a light and comedic tone but it's not funny.US: I don't know, i forgot to check, so 5.WB: 3 - Alright, although the timeline is unclear and it appears to be AU.

1yr
PsyLoRD
PsyLoRDLv5

Reveal spoiler

1yr
OverlordBGs
OverlordBGsLv14

My friend, this is a kind story. That hooked me up from the beginning, and the MC has excellent development throughout the chapters. The story is neither fast nor slow. I can’t wait to see Jial mastering both sides of the force.

1yr
Voldemortt
VoldemorttLv3

ta indo muito bem continue assim .............................................................................................................................

1yr
But
ButLv14

Reasons why I rated this so low…. 1. It’s a choice system, the main character will never have a original thought throughout the entire novel. 2. On his first choice he literally goes against what he was about to do because of the choices. 3. Also on his first choice it was a summon, you’re 2 chapters in and your already summoning shit from another world. 4. Hes ugly.

6mth
Related Stories

Naruto Card King

Haruto Saito, was playing a mobile game called "King of Cards" when his phone exploded due to overheating. He then transmigrated into the world of Naruto and found out... Why can I see the name, identity, and reputation of each of them? Killing hostile ninjas will drop cards? Ninjutsu cards! Taijutsu cards! Forbidden jutsu cards! Mystic jutsu cards! Can cards be eaten? Will you gain corresponding abilities after eating them? What are equipment cards? Killing Uchiha clan ninjas can drop Sharingan bloodline cards? Killing Hyuga clan ninjas can drop Byakugan bloodline cards? What if I kill Kaguya? ! ! Naruto world is gamified! Reputation exchange! Ninjutsu enhancement! Achievement rewards! Unlimited first kills! "Excuse me, I'm not targeting anyone, I just say that everyone here is garbage!" At the Five Kage Conference, Haruto Saito said lightly, tapping his fingers on the table. Raw Name - 火影之卡皇

RawInk21 · Anime & Comics
4.2
434 Chs

Dimensional Trader in Marvel

One day, after waking up from a dream, Josh found himself transported from the 21st century to Chicago in 1943, transformed into a poor young boy on the streets. World War II? For Josh, who wasn't even 18 yet, it seemed too scary. But as an orphan, the most important thing for him was figuring out how to survive in this era. Fortunately, he had a Dimensional Trading System, and in this time, being a Interdimensional trader seemed like it could provide a comfortable life. However, a few months later, just as his life started to improve, Josh stared in silence at the stage of a war charity performance, where Captain America was singing and dancing with a group of girls. It's over. He was doomed. This place was actually the Marvel Universe! ___________________ What to Expect: [Moderate Pace] [Family] [Slice of Life] [Smart MC] [Businessman] [Poor to Rich] [History] [War] [World Conquer] [No Harem (Till Now Atleast)] Worlds in the Fanfic: Crossovers: Marvel, Nosferatu, Peaky Blinders, The Godfather, Mafia Game (Vito and Johnny), Sabrina (1954 film), Dial M for Murder (1954 film), Dracula Untold (Not Sure but there are hints), and more in the future. Other Worlds: The World of WarCraft, Game of Thrones, Red Alert, Equilibrium, I, Robot, and more in the future. Daily Updates!! + Extra Chapters for PS Goals. ___________________ If you want to support and get early access to the chapters, join patreon.com/AHumanMadeMOFO to read 60+ Chapters ahead of others.

AHumanMadeMOFO · Anime & Comics
4.7
246 Chs

Talent Entry Ninja of Konoha

Ryosuke arrives at the Naruto world, and awakens the talent entry system which allows him to convert a person's biopheromome into a talent entry. Collected: [Uchiha Sasuke's Hair] Transformation talent entry: [Spirit of Vengeance: You are an avenger, you are unstoppable on the road of revenge] [Efficiency of Chakra refining is 1000%! Ninjutsu power 500%!] [Cursed eyes: Your eyes are cursed by the world, but the world is ignorant, how would it know your talent?] [Get Sharingan (with Uchiha blood) Eye awakening efficiency 1000%! Pupil power 500%!] [Indra's resentment: Indra is resentful because of his father's preference for Asura, and his resentment is unmatched!] [Pupil Power 500%! Susanoo's size 500%! Ppil Technique Power 500%! Chakra 1000%!] Ryosuke: "Sasuke's hair gave me all this? What about Naruto?" Uzumaki Naruto next door shivered subconsciously, feeling as if he was being targeted by something terrible. Disclaimer: This is just a translation. All the credit goes to the original authors. Raw: 人在木叶，我能升级天赋词条 Read upto 70 chapters ahead on p@treon.com/alex_1000

Alex_002 · Anime & Comics
4.1
262 Chs

Naruto: I'm Nine-Tails and My Host is Kushina

Reborn in the world of Naruto as the Nine Tails, he finds himself sealed within Uzumaki Kushina. No longer just a beast, he possesses his own will, intelligence, and the power to change the fate of the tailed beasts. --- Madara never thought that his Rinnegan would be crushed by the Nine Tails. Hashirama, who once controlled the Nine Tails, now found himself controlled by it. Uchiha Mikoto was shocked—she never expected Kushina to have something this powerful sealed inside her. As for Uzumaki Kushina herself, each of the Nine Tails' tails gave her a different feeling. At this moment, the Nine Tails stood tall, representing all the tailed beasts. "Tailed beasts will never be slaves!" --- Dear Readers, Join Patreon for 100 Advance Chapters https://www.patreon.com/UK21 Your support is truly appreciated—it means a lot to me! Update: 2 or 3 chapters daily if I'm not busy, and 1 chapter daily is guaranteed.

Uzumaki_Kushina_21 · Anime & Comics
4.0
113 Chs

Surprise! I've Transmigrated Again

I've transmigrated, and I've arrived in the KonoSuba world. MC: Whoa there, hang on a sec! Don't say anything yet, let me first trick this stupid goddess into giving me more abilities! Some time later (and some psychological abuse)… Aqua: Okay, you win! Pick your skills! And fast! MC: Alright, check this out! I'm snagging〚World Traveling〛and〚Analyze and Copy〛! Sweet deal, right? Hahaha, I'm gonna be unstoppable! ◈◈◈ This novel is a multi-anime crossover, including but not limited to: 《 KonoSuba 》《 Demon Slayer 》《 Danmachi 》《 Re:Zero 》《 Overlord 》and more! Raw: 没想到吧我又又又穿越了 or Surprise! I've Transmigrated Again Author: 狐狐狐狐狐涂 or Fox Fox Fox Fox Fox Paint Disclaimer: This is just a translation, with no intention to offend the original authors of the works nor the fanfic author. https://www.patreon.com/c/mrblackwing

MrBlackWing · Anime & Comics
4.3
248 Chs

In DxD with Sign-In System!

Transmigrated into DxD World—Kuoh Town, Hibari Kyoya. an average student, spent 18 agonizing years in the world fully aware of the dangers, knowing he is utterly powerless in a world of gods and monsters, Until... [Ding! Sign-In System loading… 20%… 50%… 80%… 100%.] Destiny, it seems.. has a cruel sense of humor. A [Sign-In System], long overdue, finally bursts to life within him, offering a chance at survival, a chance at power... [Ding! Congratulations! You have received the Rainbow-Grade Gift Bag!] ... He then started completing System's tasks, accumulating even greater rewards. [Ding! Task completed. Reward: Perfect Rumble-Rumble Fruit (Weakness to water Removed).] [Ding! Task completed. Congratulations to the host for obtaining the Flying Thunder God Technique!]

DragonnX · Anime & Comics
4.6
139 Chs
Login