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Alfiemooon
AlfiemooonLv41yr
2024-03-30 10:14

The writing needs to much work that I'm surprised it got past the planning phase. The writer uses 1st person pretty often. This is an issue because they're, frankly, rather terrible at it. They constantly get tenses wrong, and break just about all writing conventions that need to be followed for a 1st person text to be successful. The grammar is poor, and the whole paragraph structure is really messy. The premise of the story should of been dropped instantly. Harems aren't popular as it is, so why they threw every poor harem trope into a single story is beyond me. The MC is basically a degenerate that girls seen to thirst for for whatever reason.

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Daniel_Brennan_0577
Daniel_Brennan_0577Lv15

It's not very good. the main point is that it gets too ridiculous. it starts off in a very dismally run school, where the strongest rule and the weak try to survive. a young man, who has white hair and good looks. which isn't terrible, but it's wandering into that Chuunbiyo area. he's actually good friends with Gwen Stacey, but with the possibility of something more. fine. He gets a system that allows him to stream whenever he likes, basically like alien tech. And he gets sent to alternate universes, DC, to stream from there. OK, interesting. I suppose the author wanted to give the character a reason, and so he was tricked during a multi day long streaming into buying one hundred very expensive dolls. Rozen Maiden Dolls. so, he's not only mixing comic book worlds with anime worlds, but he's making the MC look stupid. usually the MC seems fine. he's not self-sacrificing. and he can take care of himself, he cooks and cleans just fine. but for some reason he was on a stream where he wouldn't stop until his fans stopped paying him? this is dumb. and then he gets tricked into buying something. dumb. and then apparently the dolls come to life. but only one has appeared so far. it's ridiculous. then when he gets in, he starts to get anime powers from different universes. and we find out he can essentially time travel in different worlds. So not only is he developing relationships with three lovely girls at his high school, also with women outside of his universe. also, the hundred dolls seem like some of them are going to be part of his harem. DC, Marvel, Jujutsu Kaisen, Rozen Maiden, Addams Family, that's the IPs we've got so far. this is turning into another throw everything into the pot, story. where the author is trying to impress people with how many different IPs he knows. and then there are the errors, in spelling, in grammar, etc. If you are a person who has essentially watched or read everything, and don't care about how ridiculous or over the top things get, then go ahead and read this story. otherwise, don't bother.

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Pokemon Alternate Universe Adventures

A man from an Earth gets the choice to start over in any Universe and chooses an Alternate Pokemon Universe. Let us see if his journey to the top is succesful and the impact he will have on his new world. Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Game Freak and Creatures Inc. I just use their sandbox for the plot of my MC and my OCs. This will be a "slow" paced story, in fact it's "super slow paced", so please don't expect the MC to directly start his journey in 20 chapters or so, actually multiply that by like 15. A lot is going to happen before that happens. The first 10-20 chapters or so are information heavy, depending on what kind of reader you are. I try to keep my chapter length between 2000 and 3000 words per chapter. My release rate is 4 chapter/week for now. I have a patre*n for those that want to support me with access to some advance chapters as a thank you. patre*n.com/Azrail93 This is an alternate pokemon universe so there will be differences to the games, manga and anime. So if something in the story is different it is most likely on purpose. The original sources are seen as suggestions not laws. Differences can be: Type variants, evolution conditions, strength mechanics, world building and more. If I am at some point asking for reader input I will do so but otherwise I will ignore most suggestions. So please don't spam things like catch this pokemon or do that next. I have my plot planned and external input will be considered when asked for. If I see a suggestion that I believe fit my plot flow I will use it and will credit the commentor. Comments on spelling and grammar mistakes are welcome. I will try to correct said mistakes with time. Constructive criticism will be read and considered. Insult and hate comments will be ignored or deleted depending on severity. Readers naturally can comment their dislike but one worders will be ignored. If the reason for the dislike is explained I will read it. Like previously mentioned pure insults and hate comments will be ignored or deleted. The same is true for simple hate reviews or insulting ones. Reviews complaining about something I warned about, such as the slow pace, will be deleted as well.

Azrail93 · Anime & Comics
4.5
865 Chs