The writing quality was good, although the paragraph could have been seperated for easier read. Character development was executed decently but it could hve been better with mor ebuild up and suspense. The pacing was 5/5, though transitions was a bit rough, the characters are very likeable, certain areas are lacking in clarifications, like the interaction and actions. also, some phrase like, "he couldnt help", "he said", "he sigh" etc were continued quite obcessantly, they were redundant in certain areas (the firat chapter mostly). Avoid directly saying what it is, using things like "suddenly", "he was angry", "he felt" and try to deliver the suddenness or sensation with actions instead. For example instead of saying "he was annoyed" to "He narrowed his eyes and click his tongue". The phrasings and execution, lastly was a bit lacking. overall decent but it coldve been a lot better. I hope you could continue.
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