I gave you five stars because there is no other story like it
Also to encourage you to write it down
Oh man, where do I even start with this? First off, let me just say, this is definitely one of the most *unique* premises I’ve come across on Webnovel. I mean, a scumbag reincarnated into a world where the majority of the population is Futanari, and his main goal is to protect his… uh… “backdoor” from being invaded? That’s definitely not your everyday isekai story. So props for originality, I guess? But let’s dive into the actual critique because there are definitely some things that could use a bit more fleshing out.
First of all, **world-building**. This is such a crucial part of any story, especially when you’re introducing a completely new world with its own rules, population dynamics, and social structures. Right now, the world feels like it’s just there to serve the premise of the story (which is fine to an extent), but it’s lacking depth. For example, you mention that less than 1% of the population is male, 24% is female, and the rest is Futanari. That’s an interesting setup, but what does that actually mean for society? Like, how does this world function? Are there specific laws or systems in place to deal with such a skewed population ratio? Are there different cultural norms or power dynamics because of this? Do males have a special status because they’re so rare, or are they treated like prey because of their scarcity? These are the kinds of details that could really elevate the story and make the world feel more alive and immersive.
Also, when it comes to the **chase scenes and survival elements**, I couldn’t help but wonder the same thing another reader might ask—why not just call the police when they’re being chased? Does this world even have a functioning law enforcement system? Or is it some kind of dystopian setting where it’s every person (or Futa) for themselves? Because if they have modern technology like vehicles, it’s a little hard to imagine a world where there’s no authority to turn to in dangerous situations. Clarifying these kinds of details would go a long way in making the story more believable.
Now, let’s talk about the **relationships and character dynamics**. I get that the main character is supposed to be a scumbag who gets karmic retribution for his past behavior, but it would be nice to see a bit more depth to his personality. Right now, he just seems like a guy who’s terrified of losing his “anal virginity” and not much else. Does he feel any remorse for how he treated women in his past life? Does he try to change or grow as a person in this new world? Or is he just running around trying to avoid getting pounded the entire time? Giving him some internal conflict or a redemption arc could make him a lot more relatable as a protagonist.
And speaking of relationships, the whole “Astolfo-looking Femboy” thing is definitely going to appeal to a niche audience, like you said, but it also makes me wonder how the character interacts with others in this world. Are there any meaningful bonds he forms, or is it all just about avoiding predators? You mentioned that there are characters from anime, video games, and manga mixed into this world, which sounds cool, but how do they fit into the story? Are they just there for fanservice, or do they play a significant role in the plot? I think exploring those relationships more deeply could add a lot of emotional weight to the story and make it more engaging overall.
Lastly, I have to admit, the tone of the story is pretty wild. It’s got this chaotic, over-the-top energy that can be fun if done right, but it also runs the risk of coming across as too silly or shallow. If the goal is to make it a comedy, then lean into that and really go all out with the absurdity. But if you’re aiming for a mix of comedy and serious survival elements, then you’ll need to strike a better balance between the two. Right now, it feels like the story is trying to do a bit of everything—comedy, survival, fanservice, and even some light horror with the whole “predatory Futanari” thing—but it’s not quite succeeding in any one area. Focusing on one or two core themes could help tighten up the narrative and make it more cohesive.
In conclusion, I think the story has potential, especially for readers who are into niche genres like this, but it could definitely benefit from more detailed world-building, stronger character development, and a clearer focus on what kind of story it wants to tell. Also, maybe tone down the “protecting his butt” jokes just a little? They’re funny at first, but they might get old if that’s the only thing driving the plot. Anyway, good luck with the writing! I’m curious to see how this wild ride unfolds.
