I loved the idea… the execution not so much.
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Can you advise me how I should have execute it?
You leave a lot of details untold in the background. The romance is too fast = a middle aged woman, adored by the whole barren lands and having countless suitors falls in love with them Mc after one meeting and turns into a shy little girl? We don‘t even know the size of the barren land either. Sound like a continent but considering that you can go from one side to another in a few hours, it‘s more like an island. And yet at least a billion people live there? And they are supposed to live in fear of beats, which means that their territory is a minor part. There are often unspecified time skips and neither the mc‘s abilities nor the clans circumstances are properly explained. What else? Ah yes, there are no internal clan problems. Because they are taught to be loyal and trust each other? There are thousands of people in his clans and I’m sure it‘s been around for a few centuries. There should at the very least be different factions or even clan branches. And absolutely no traitors? Yes, you mentioned that the formation masters tried to steal his armor technique, but they were recruited from the city as far as I remember. Well, the main problem is still that a ton of information isn‘t mentioned at all. Mc also seems like a perfect man that can do anything. Unfortunately, I can only tell you where I found problems and not how to solve them. Neither can I tell you how to execute it. I’m not a writer and only a reader after all. Good luck with your book tho!
Also, I only read till chapter 36, so some of the points I mentioned may be solved later on.
