If I could rate this story more than the allotted five stars, I would—in a heartbeat. I stumbled across this fanfic on AO3 and was blissfully—and I do mean blissfully—ecstatic to see it updated here.
I must say, this author has done a beautiful job at crafting characters that inspire you to want to read. Not only because of the plot—and dare I say, wow, you have killed it in this regard—but because of the living, breathing, and multidimensional characters. You make our hearts yearn for their survival, triumph, and some—their downfall. That is what separates mediocre writers from the talents. And you, my dear friend, are *not* mediocre.
I have noticed some readers have found the pacing to be slow, but I have to disagree in this regard vehemently. This is what happens when people become too used to eating $5 takeout and don’t have the aptitude to recognize the filet mignon sitting in front of them, practically begging to be devoured.
To build a story, you must have characters the readers root for (hate is also an option). It’s not all about cursed techniques, flashy abilities, or even anime-level fights. It’s the characters who go through those experiences that make us beg for an update. (I could expound for hours on character, so I’ll digress)
Author, your prose is beautiful. One tell-tell sign of a beginner or amateur writer is dialogue/action tags. The way you seamlessly move the conversations from one character to the next, one scene to the next, is masterful. Kudos to you. Let me offer an example from this story, chapter 21
-TEXT INSERT START-
[As they walked up the stairs, she realized that, unfortunately for the image in her head, he was the man and the living legend all in one. Although she had lost most of the respect, she had come to rate the man just after minutes with him.
“Then he said, 'You won’t be alone for long.' Can you believe it? My cute little Jiki-kun. Now he’s all grown up and doesn't even bother to call me when taking on centuries-old threats. Oh, the horror.” He ended and started cleaning away fake tears.”]
-TEXT INSERT END-
You beautifully shifted the scene, realizing that conversations are fluid and do not all begin at the top of the topic. Gojo and Maki have, in this case, been walking and talking for a minute now. For you to understand that the conversation has been occurring before the scene began for the readers and to showcase this beautifully speaks volumes of your writing prowess. This scene also wonderfully depicts how much Gojo—even in his whimsical way—cherishes and respects his cute little Jiki-kun (aka Itachi).
I could go on and on, but I want to end with this. Author, you are doing a fantastic job, and this fanfic is truly a gift to us all. But please be cautious of reading reviews and comments because they can be momentum killers. The most unfounded and uneducated critique of your work—even when you know it holds no weight—can indeed negatively affect your headspace. If you can, have family or friends screen the comments and feedback to save yourself unnecessary grief.
So, in conclusion—plus 10 points for reading this far—keep up the great work. Even if you don’t finish this story and move along to something else, I wish you nothing but the best.
