webnovel
Dragon_Worrier
Dragon_WorrierLv111yr
2024-01-10 21:20

you know your writing is good but the way you write I feel tired sometimes while reading. You put too much emphasis on words which is good but you do it too much . Please make it simple like when characters are talking to each other it will make it more realistic and simple to read . Put the different words when needed or when you like it will make it more enjoyable. BTW your story is good!

Liked by 1 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
Grim_Reaper_87997
Grim_Reaper_87997Lv4
Related Stories

Earth's Greatest Magus

#Top 20 Webnovel Best Sellers 2021, 2022, 2023, and in 2024 #### History is said to be written by the victors. If so, how about Earth's history? Two millennia ago, a young boy named Emery met a tragic fate. In his final moments, he was transmigrated and accepted into the Universe's most prestigious school of magic. 鈥淵ou are among the chosen few from thousands of human worlds. Whether you seize this opportunity or not, is up to you. You are at Magus Academy, the pinnacle of humanity's ingenuity. Magic, science, and might are all within reach for those who dare to pursue them." [Scan complete - Quadruple affinity. Water, Earth, Plant, and Darkness.] "A quadruple acolyte! Only one in tens of thousands of acolytes possess this!" Thus began Emery鈥檚 journey together with his 4 friends from the furthest corner of Earth. Each year they returned to Earth to grow, seek revenge, save the princess, conquer the world, and become Earth's Greatest Magus. Their names are still etched in our history books to this day. Authors Note: I have always been fascinated by writing fantasy relating to historical facts. In this story, you will find characters inspired by real-world myth and legend. The universe I created hopefully will make the reader's imagination excited and logically plausible. I hope you enjoy it. ### Here are some key aspects you'll encounter: MC: The protagonist follows the classic weak-to-strong arc. World: Picture a blend of Harry Potter and Star Wars. System: While it's primarily a magic-based story, there's a structured system in place that's easy to follow. Additionally, elements of cultivation. Harem: No, there are several female interests. But I enjoy romance first. So even if there will be more than one love interest it will be deep. Note: English is not my first language, but you'll notice that my writing and English skills gradually improve throughout the chapters. Other: The novel delves into deep research on science and history, enriching the storyline with factual and intriguing details. Give it a read鈥攜ou might be pleasantly surprised by what unfolds. Check Out the Video Trailer on youtube type "Earth's Greatest Magus"

AvanFantasy
4.5
2576 Chs

Reincarnated To Evolve My Bee Empire

"Now, go forth, my mortal champion! Conquer this world鈥攐r else!" I lived a painfully average life and died by a stupid, stupid accident, but a goddess interfered, giving me a second chance in another world. There, I became royalty鈥攖he lazy kind with almost no obligations, free to live in peace and luxury for the rest of my days. Sounds like a dream, right? In reality, it was anything but鈥攂ecause I became *BEE* royalty. A Drone Bee, doomed to die of old age in 2 months! (A humanoid bee, thankfully, but still a bee in all the ways that matter.) The only way to increase my lifespan is to develop and grow my bee colony鈥攁 deadly task in a vicious world like this one. There are murderous insect monsters, colossal beasts trampling the earth, other civilizations, natural disasters, and the bitchy patron goddess who absolutely hates me. But as long as I have my brains, my bees, and the powerful genes my system gives me, my Bee Empire will be unstoppable! === For those who want to know more: This is a wholesome comedic story, but it has some dark moments. The focus is on kingdom building, survival as an empire, and interacting with MC鈥檚 beautiful bee wife and adorable bee daughters. The bees are all humanoid (see pictures) and human-sized. However, they are still bees in their ways of life and mentality. Although there鈥檚 a system, real growth comes from putting effort and time. Nothing happens in an instant in this story, unless it鈥檚 trouble. MC acts like an idiot sometimes (oftentimes), but he鈥檚 not actually stupid-stupid. When it comes to strategic decisions, he uses logic and reason. Even if you might disagree with it. Also, there will be no smut (ecchi is a fair game), incest, NTR, harem or BL. === Discord is up! Find it at -> https://linktr.ee/Garessta Updates: 2 chapters/day, right after the reset (with a 5% chance of running late). Reply to author's pinned review if you have questions. Also, although I realize the futility of this aim (at least right now), if this novel reaches top 15 golden ticket ranking (and stays there for a few days, obv), I will mass release 10 extra chapters! (within 30 calendar days)

GaresstaFantasy
4.9
236 Chs

Re: Evolution Online

On just another normal Monday, a new virtual reality game called "Evolution Online" launched out of nowhere and took the world by storm. People were blown away by the game鈥檚 hyper-realistic features and endless adventures. Everyone from small companies to big corporations and governments scrambled to get a foothold on this mysterious video game. But what they didn't know was that this game was actually a tutorial for the upcoming apocalypse that was about to hit the planet! The game was a precursor to the Earth's first evolution, where mana was going to be unleashed into the real world! Liam, a high school student who had faced numerous setbacks in his life, turned to 'Evolution Online' in the hope of changing his fate, but instead, he got trapped in the game's twisted world, and things went from bad to worse. When the apocalypse finally arrived, Liam barely managed to escape, but his situation didn't improve. Along with millions of others, he died a miserable death, unable to fight back and filled with regret. However, Liam's story didn't end there. He found himself inexplicably transported back in time before everything started! Armed with the knowledge of what was to come, Liam was determined to become the strongest and most powerful player, unleashing destruction upon the world that had ruined him before! This time, things were going to be different! ******************* Discord Link for chatting with author and character art https://discord.gg/XS7gWScKn8

YolohyFantasy
4.8
1424 Chs

The Witch Hunter System

Dual cultivation isn't a choice; it's a necessity. After being struck by a truck like most lucky protagonists (or unlucky ones), Vaan found himself transmigrated into the body of an orphan in the world of witches and demons. However, they didn't always exist. Demons terrorized the world ever since the Gehenna Realm descended over 300 years ago. but along with them, came mana, giving birth to witches to combat these demons. Since then, the world of men was dominated by witches, establishing the seven witch kingdoms, which safeguards at the forefront of the demon invasion. In order to survive in the matriarchal society of the witch kingdoms, Vaan, like all other men who cannot use magic, had to learn how to service the witches to survive. Nevertheless, it did not come without its own benefits. Years of research have led the world to the discovery of intimacy between men and women could increase the witches' mana absorption. But at the same time, men could absorb some of this mana to improve their physique and lifespan. Thus, since then, an intricate relationship was formed between men and witches in the red-light districts. Love became casual, and dual cultivation is common. As a prodigy in the art of pleasing women, Vaan lived a smooth two years since his transmigration as an orphan. However, everything came crashing down in a heartbeat one day when his life was nearly taken, and Lady Eniwse whom he served went berserk. Even so, that was not the end. With the awakening of the Witch Hunter System, watch how Vaan takes on the world and becomes the lord of witches. ===== Genre: [Mature Content] [R-18] [Smut] [Magic] [Witches] [Demons] [Spirits] [Dragons] [Beasts] [Reincarnation] [Adventure] [Action] [Mystery] [Academy] [Weak-to-Strong] [Scheming MC] [Harem] [System] [Servants] [Slaves] [Smart MC] [Alchemy] [Forging] [Misunderstandings] [Game Elements] [Kingdom-Building] [Overpowered MC] ===== Note: Contains lemons. Hunting witches does not necessarily imply killing witches, if you know what I mean ( 汀掳 蜏蕱 汀掳) ===== Feel free to join the discord for novel discussion or grab the novel update role to be notified as soon as new chapters are released in the link below; https://discord.gg/9SUWMPZ ===== My other novels; First novel: Prime Originator (Shared Universe) Second novel: I am a Notorious Boss in the Alternate World (Shared Universe) =====

PointbreakFantasy
4.4
1067 Chs

Hunter Academy: Revenge of the Weakest

What do the words Third-Rate Villain mean? Doesn't every human being possess their own background story? Just because a game hadn't explored one's background story, does it mean those characters are irrelevant? In a world where video games come to life, Astron Natusalune is introduced as a seemingly insignificant character鈥攁 third-rate villain with a minor role. However, this ordinary facade belies a haunting past that has shaped Astron into the vengeful soul he has become. Someone who would do everything for his vengeance. What will occur if Astron's soul combines with one from Earth? Will he relinquish his position as a third-rate villain, or will he forge a new path? Driven by a singular purpose鈥攖o avenge his sister's tragic death and bring justice to a cruel world鈥擜stron embarks on a transformative journey. Witness the journey of the Astron as the young boy experiences a profound shift in his own values as he witnesses firsthand the consequences of unchecked vengeance and the true complexities of morality. -----------------------------------0------------------------------------ Chapter length 1750-2500 At least one chapter a day. You can check my discord if you want. You will be able to see the illustrations here and engage in a conversation with me if I am available. https://discord.gg/qRknX5hTur ---------------------------0------------------------------ Business E-mail: yusuftalhayasar@outlook.com Discord: _yty_

Darkness_EnjoyerFantasy
4.3
974 Chs