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yokedjaguar
yokedjaguarLv141yr
2023-08-06 18:36

Authors a robot. I refuse to believe they were born and had a childhood. If they were, then they'd realize their biggest mistake. The grammar is fantastic, the updating stability is astounding, and your verbiage is articulate. However, your writing comes off as desperate and void of any emotion. Everyone's words are so robotic and a sad attempt to be me more grandiose than the last that is comes off as faker than plastic with no real substance. Read this comment as an example. It started off simple, and then I just used bigger and bigger words to make it a not so simple comment. There's also the fact that the main characters are children. I refuse to believe every last one of these children (especially Ronald Weasley) could articulate such words in not only a timely response but quantity as well. As such, the story feels like the author is trying to prove that they know big words and they know how to use them. Just like this comment. It's easy and it's desperate.

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_Riux
_RiuxAuthor

Well again, I'm not the author, I'm the translator but I appreciate your feedback. I don't have any prior writing experience so there are areas I struggle with - I'll try to improve my dialog in the future chapters.

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