This, is honestly really great. But I'll still go through the motions. Writing quality; I didn't see any grammatical errors, though that doesn't mean much if the story or world-building is garbage. The actions and reactions of the characters and the world around them are written in quite a pleasant way. Story development; The story seems to be building up well, a vampire threat appearantly, and I can't wait for some time shenanigens. Character design; Leonardo decaprio was done pretty well, though you should remember that this is semi-regressor story. The girl I presume to be his original wife is... I'm honestly not sure about her, she appearantly has some talent, which at least makes her, not, useless. If she were to get a bit to big for her britches, though, I'm sure to reccomend ways to mess with her. But if there were one complaint, the mc is pretty much just 'Generic strong-willed kid but with magical knowledge and a weird connection to a kid a year or two younger than him.' World background; This, this is great, and I'm going to only be talking about the magic system here, talk about what I know and all. The magic system has 9 sections, not elements, 'Sections'. Time, space, elements, mind, soul, ect. Now, I'm not that certain as to how it will be used yet, but I know a common pit fall; 'This element does that, and since the mage is stronger, there's more element!' Make sure to mix the sections, okay? Not just fire. But fire and mind, to make a fire that seems perfectly safe, and even comfortable, and then mix in some soul, so that the flame can burn the soul. Voila, you made a three section spell, let's call it 'Ensnaring soul fire'. Individual stars- Writing quality; 5* Stability of updates; 5* (Don't matter anyways) Story development; 4* (Due to it being slow paced at the moment) Character design; 4* (Due to there not being enough characterization) World background; 5* (You can really see that this was probably written before hand, and then adapted into a novel.) Conclusion; I'll be honest, since you won't pick up the other paths in detail, after you finish or get burnt-out by this novel, write something about another character in another time with a different path. It'd be a waste if this world only had one novel too be a door to it. PS; If anything important happens after (Chapter 12), I'm going to change this review to reflect it.
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you'd be surprised to see what's in store ;) If you want some spoiler free teasers or more info on the background power shenanigans, reach out to me on discord or join my server. I'll toss in a few links so you can go down the rabbit hole.
Eh, I'm trying to write a 2000-ish word chapter a day for the novel I made on impulse, Talented necromancer, I'll see about it later.
Good luck! :) and thanks for the feedback.
