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PercivalLv31yr
2023-09-13 02:41

its a good story """""""""""""""""""""""""""" """"""""""""""""""""""""" """"""""""""""""""" """""""""""""""" """""""""""" """"""""" """""" """ "" "

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JokerfaDewLv13

Starting off, it’s my first time delving into this author’s work, and I must say, I’m not a fan of using paraphrasing like the Rocky quote to pad out word count. If there’s more of that, it’s an automatic 2/5 for me in terms of writing quality. I’ve reached Chapter 55 and intend to continue until Chapter 150 before providing further feedback on the pacing. So far, the story shows promise, but it comes with a hefty price tag. I could recommend several novels with superior world-building and character development. As for this author’s style, it seems quite generic, relying heavily on tropes from previous works(note I haven’t read his previous works but I’m sure if I were to look 80% positive I would see some parallels). Despite covering some aspects of world-building, by Chapter 55, readers are still in the dark about the system’s possibilities. Removing the fastest way to gain that knowledge(School) through war feels like a misstep. While it’s understandable to show the world progressing without the MC’s involvement, the narrative feels stale. War is happening, yet we’re confined to the MC’s home until events conveniently move the plot forward. There’s a disconnect between what characters in the story know about the war’s progress and what readers are privy to. It doesn’t make sense for outlying villages, unaffected by the war and days away, to possess more knowledge than the capital(2 days from the fight), especially with its greater resources and influence. This lack of coherence in world-building detracts from immersion. In summary, the attempt to keep readers in the dark feels forced and doesn’t align with the story’s setting, particularly given the capital’s status as the hub of civilization. It’s unlikely that other nobles wouldn’t spread information about the war to the common people. Apologies for the rant, but this is my honest critique based on my reading experience.

MferLv15
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