Ur writing wrong, ur telling not speaking, This is an example here. Example: As Muzak glanced at this pregnant woman, he felt a familiar feeling, He chucked with laughter “ A Child you say!?” He’s red eyes brightened up. ‘Well that’s unexpected, Hmm’ Not the best but you got the idea, ur using pov as a summary, which I honestly cringed, But this could be better.
Novelreader12333
Liked by 1 people
LIKEYes no problem. I really like the storyline but i hope it can improve. This is not hate btw 😭 I really like this fanfic this is why I gave it a 3 star rating, so you could improve. Please I hope I didn’t cause any misunderstanding 🙏 .
Novelreader12333:Thanks for the review